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Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

Right, let’s get this thing down on paper.

I must admit that I have very little inspiration this week in writing. I wonder if that comes due to the fact that last week I wrote about double the amount of words. In part as I said my story that I am currently working on. So far the first few reviews are quite positive. I had to make some edits to the story, just to make it work a little bit but that is all part and parcel of writing.

Admittedly, a lot more when one is writing a story, rather then when I am writing a blog. Though I will say; if I write something to a particular subject, then I tend to more or less do that as well. Freehand blogging, or waffling as some have taken to calling it (myself included), I just write, whatever comes to my mind. Not that that is always a good thing, or for that matter sometimes nothing comes to mind. Yes, I know that this does not seem likely with someone who runs her mouth off as much as I do at the best of times. Aren’t gags such wonderful things?

But you know, all best laid plans and everything. The plan was this weekend to write part of the next episode of my story and write this blog well ahead of time. So much for that. I started feeling unwell on Saturday and by the time I went to bed it had gotten worse. Today has not been much better either. So as of that my writing as suffered.
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Well, all good plans and all that are always going amiss. I was planning to actually write a story this weekend. Well for that I first needed permission. See I believe that if you are writing about persons, or at least if you write a story where a person is involved in or based upon, whether this is a true thing, or a fantasy, you need to ask them permission. It is the right thing to do. The closer you are, the more this is an ethical thing to do in writing.

Sure, sure, you can just go the general route, make up some names, change a few things and include the almighty “all persons fiction disclaimer” disclaimer, then again, while it may be safe, I think in this case it would largely be a cop-out. Especially as it is based on someone whom I interact with quite a bit these days.

So where is that story then? Well, as I said, good plans and all that: I started writing and half way through the writing I felt that I needed to set up a structure. What I had in my mind to paper so to speak, how the events were going to unfold more or less (yes, call it a god complex, which writer does not have it).  So after setting that out and dividing the various scenes, chapters and acts, or however you want to call them, I started to get to work on writing things and let my characters tell their story.

Turns out they had a lot more to tell then I thought. Who would have think that my characters are as talkative as me. So after writing a good sixteen hundred words, I finished writing the first act, I looked at the time. See, I had given myself until eight o’clock this evening to get the story finished. Clearly with the length and the events that need to take place, that is never going to happen. Sadly this is the truth of the matter, that I need to recognise my limitation in this.

 

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Last week I was asked a question, or rather I was the one who asked for a topic, and the answer was posted as a statement; something to think about. This statement was: “A topic I’ve been thinking about lately has been about how familiarity breeds contempt. Is there a benefit in maintaining a formality to a strictly D/s relationship and refining casual banter/restricting such speech…

This lead to this blogpost, which is admittedly a rewording of this topic that I wrote earlier this week, changed and expanded on it in further discussions. I asked and was allowed to share this blog post with you all. So here goes. The idea itself has actually been plaguing on my mind a lot last week, though writing this did help me to gain at least some perspective on the topic. Still the various thoughts and all that kept ruining through my mind all of this week. It does take time occasionally for me to really grasp a topic that I have been asked to think about in depth and realise the implications of them.

The question is: does familiarity breed indeed contempt? To answer that question, research has to start at the beginning. In this case, what does the sentence actually mean, or where does it even come from? The origin of the saying lies in Aesop’s FableThe Fox and the Lion

When first the Fox saw the Lion he was terribly frightened, and ran away and hid himself in the wood. Next time however he came near the King of Beasts he stopped at a safe distance and watched him pass by. The third time they came near one another the Fox went straight up to the Lion and passed the time of day with him, asking him how his family were, and when he should have the pleasure of seeing him again; then turning his tail, he parted from the Lion without much ceremony.

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The weekend by, partially because a very busy and hectic real life and a reasonably occupied weekend actually has not seen me get much chance to do any writing. Plus there was something that I wanted or needed to watch. Well strongly wanted at least.

The problem is that this left me with very little time to actually do any writing whatsoever this weekend. This is pretty shamelessly bad of me. I thought I was off to a good start last week but it seems I have had a momentarily relapse. But I am sitting down to write now and while I may not have enough time left in the day to do my writing. I still have my stuff to get ready for tomorrow.

Still any writing I will get done today, will safe me having to do tomorrow. Which at the rate I am going this will be the larger chunk of writing this. But, I think as the saying goes, such is life. I still am committed to blogging. The schedule may be a bit off at times but I am planning to keep writing as much as I possibly can. The only difference I may make this year is over Christmas.

First a little bit of an update on my personal life as much as it is shareable. I have noticed a slow shift in myself moving away or perhaps moving a little bit onward. Thoughts that begin to bubble to the service. There have been a few times this week where on purpose I have not worn my collar. For the first time in over 6 years.  Time will, hopefully make it easier. I still do go back to wearing it. There is a certain familiarity and comfort in feeling it around my neck. I know that some of you think I am probably less then sane, but this is my way of dealing with it.

Baby steps. That is it…

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So for once in the last few weeks I am actually writing on a Sunday. Not my entirely plan. Wait, what? Sit down, let me explain. I was actually planning to be good for once and write on the Saturday. Sadly I had to go and be all energetic during the day and for the afternoon I geared myself for a battle with the local telco.

And while that particular episode came to a good end eventually it meant that I felt by the time I cam home I had been running around all day. Which in reality – I had. But I was absolutely exhausted and not much good for anything.

So, I am at least planning to get a proportion of my writing done on this Sunday evening. Although by the looks of it and due to general tiredness it seems my plans are mislaid. I will have to finish my blog tomorrow. I only have come as far as the first two hundred words, the best laid plans of kittens and such.
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Once again, it is Monday and I am bend over my keyboard, insistent that I will crack out a blog post. I am long giving up the hope that I will write a long sixteen hundred word post ever week from now.

Yet I can not let myself get to the point where I would not write. I am still coming to terms with that part. Is that not strange? Do I write because I love writing (and hate it and hate to love as well as love to hate; I think that’s called: “It’s complicated”).

So yes, I will write, even if you all have to sit through my rambling thought and me trying to make sense and figure out a direction of my life. Such is the way I fear. I could pretend I am a huge a know-it-all (no coughing from the peanut gallery, please!). I am not sure how far I will get tonight, but I will give it a good try.

There have a few things that have been playing on my mind. Such as what I want in a dominant. There is a loaded question if any. I am not even sure I am ready to move on, there are still so many things that tie me to my Mistress.

But at the same time I do miss that pull of control, that driving force in my life, something that defines the boundaries in which I operate in. I have spoken about this before. How the restriction of freedom could in some circumstances, especially for submissives create more personal freedom.

So time will tell. It does not help that for the first time in a long time in this, the hours that are available to me for play, serving and socialising are even more limited then they have ever been. This also limits my time very much to people by and large in Europe. At best, I have an hour in the morning and perhaps an hour or two at most at night. Sadly this leaves, as you can see, very little time for building a relationship and training.

No idea, what the future will bring. I will keep coming back to this, there are too many people I know here, too many whom I really consider close and good friends. I may not meet them ‘in the flesh’ or ‘face to face’ as the saying goes. That however is not how I entirely define friendship. It’s being there for one another, laugh, cry and share all the times that you have, both the good and the bad. I hurt when they are hurting and I am overjoyed if things are going well in their life and they are happy.

So yes, life is not all that bad. Great friends, good health, a job – what else is there to complain. Well, … yeah you know. I am going to leave this here. I was planning to write more. About what I look for in a dominant. What I find important qualities, but I think I went over that pretty much last week.

One of the things I have seemed to be talking a lot about this last week with various folks is the concept of speech training, so perhaps that I will write something more about that next week.

A lot shorter blog then I had intended or planned this week, but at least I can have some satisfaction that I have blogged. And now, with England out of the world cup of rugby, I can perhaps take a little bit more time to relax on the weekend and devote a bit more to better planning and writing and take the proper time to get a decent blog post up.

However for now, before my head hits the keyboard and this never gets posted I am going to wrap this up. Thank you all and have a wonderful week. As for the title .. well .. who does not like a quickie *grins*

 

With love, take care please and be safe
lexi

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Ah to write or not to write. It is something that I seem to get to struggle with more and more these days. It’s perhaps not that amazing or shocking. This week saw the nine month pass by since I have heard anything from my Mistress. I must admit that if I am honest with myself the likely hood of her returning to Second Life is something that seems more unlikely with the time passing. It is hard to find closure in things when all you are left to face is questions without answers.

One of these questions is obviously about blogging. Yes, I know all the arguments that someone could make. It is my blog. I have put in all the work in and the words I have written are mine and mine alone, whether that was for better or worse. That is only part of the equation of course. It is however the part that I take pride in. I think I once counted all the words that I have written over the years and while it has not reached the epic proportions to put it on par with War and Peace, it is by no means an amount to be sneered at.

The counter of that argument is that, that this blog has been fairly well tied up with her. No – not in that way you perverts! She did however order me to write and for a long long while she would let me know that she had read my blog and give me feed back on it. Knowing that she read what I wrote always provided not just source of motivation, but a mental stick behind the door that helped me spur on.
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