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Posts Tagged ‘slave’

It does not make easy writing when you know you are in the dog house. It puts a damper on everything and colours your perception, your mood, your motivation and drive.  But, having to choose between writing and be further in trouble for delaying posting later then a Sunday, I much rather pound out the words, write whatever is on my heart, rather then get myself into even more deeper trouble. One bucket, load, amount, of ire is really more then I can handle at the moment.

A perhaps small word of warning. Normally when I write, I do write by and large in general terms, about topics, about things that I know of, that interest me, or things that I am exploring. Tonight in that sense is going to be a little bit different. Tonight this blog post is going to be deeply and utterly personal. It is something that weights heavily on my mind and has been for the past few days.

As many may have noticed, I written recently about speaking restrictions. Obviously as noted, a topic that is close to my heart and I have written blogs in the past where I have written in the third person, however abandoned that for the time being by writing in the first person. I think that may continue for now, based on discussion that I have had.

However, for those that know me in the virtual world of Second Life, know that for the last few weeks I have switched to a very high protocol form of speaking, a rather more restricted form of the common third person speak as is often seen. There are reasons for that, I am sure all of you can guess these.

The problem with that, that this is much harder for me, rather then just speaking in the the third person. I am endeavouring and doing my best not to screw up but, it seems every so often, or even so very often, I make a total mess of it and screw up beyond my palest dreams. It sucks, it really does. I know part of why it happens, what causes it. I am not sure how I can stop it, bar fighting my own mind and conditioning it and training it to work with me, rather then against me.

When I write, write like I do now, I don’t even look at my screen. I can even type all of this with my eyes closed. In that way, it is almost like my mind is passing a stream of consciousness straight  from my fingers, straight through my keyboard. In a way by passing any realistic mental filters. This of course translates into Second Life where my mind is my mouth in so many ways.

I am not saying this is at all right, but I am just letting my mind doing the thinking and talking. As I have said before; this blog is as much exploration, research and explanation of things. Writing for me is, as often a tool to teach and explain, a tool to help understand myself better.

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To write, to talk about speech. This is something that this girl has been experiencing in one way or another for the last few weeks. As some may remember, she wore a while back a whole blog post in the third person. As then today she has decided to follow in those footsteps and write once again a blog in the third person rather then the first person like this girl normally tends to do.

Some of you may remember the blog this girl wrote a few months back, called trained to talk. She hopes that this blog will build and expand on that. Mostly by perhaps going into more variation and deeper into this. Now this girl realises that the style of this blog post and the subject may not to be everyone’s liking but she hopes nonetheless that most find this enlightening and enjoyable reading. As well as that she also hopes that

One thing this girl has realised, is how easy it is for her to slip into this form of both speaking and writing. She found a quote on another blog where a girl was saying why she explicitly would not use third speech. That girls reason was very much as follows: “Once you get into the habit of using certain speech, or typing restrictions, it’s very difficult to stop using them.

Obviously this girl realises that there is a certain kernel of truth in this. Perhaps it is a mindset, perhaps it is part of having an compliant mind. This girl won’t profess that she knows the answer. She knows that several dominant would point out that this is entirely because this girl has the mind of a slave and it is that part of her mind accepting and acknowledging this. This girl honestly doesn’t know. Maybe they are right, or perhaps it is something else…

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This slave has been asked, as part of her training, and to show this slaves submission to deliver a blog written in its entirely in the third person.

As this slave loves assignments such as this, she complied readily. Both because this slave wants to show that she can do as this slave has been requested, and because this slave loves the challenge. Plus having something and someone to write for is always easier. So very much easier. Knowing what to write or who to write for is in parts half the battle

And yet this slave is at the same time, somewhat apprehensive with regards to this. This is really the first time that this slave had done something like his: the writing of a blog in third person. This slave has written assignments of others instead, but it is a long time since this slave has been writing anything that is so directly connected to this slave dealing with others, okay with this slave’s life and training.

This slave also knows, or perhaps better expects that there will be some of my readers who very much will dislike this slaves blog as they do not approve of the writing style. This slave will not say whether this will be a singular occurrence or something that will happen more often over time.

Time will tell, this slave already notices that writing in the third person requires a slight adjustment in writing style so far.

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