Posts Tagged ‘Rememberance’

A couple of years ago, I was talking to a dominant in second life, and we seemed to get on. He certainly was nice enough. However after a while, and a few meetings and playing, I stopped seeing him. Why?

The entire notion of what happened came down to one thing really (a few others as well but those were not of such a severity that they couldn’t be overcome): The reason was this; he was definitely too nice.

I know this may sound strange, but it is the reason. When I expressed this thought to friends, some understood, some did not. Trying to explain myself did not entirely work, so perhaps in the peace and quiet while writing I have better success in achieving this.

The first question really is: Do I not like nice people? The answer is: of course I do. I love nice and warm people. I love being cuddled, having my hair played with, and other displays of affection.  Just like any other person, like any human being, I love being treated well, with respect. Being loved is a beautiful privilege.

As I mentioned before, I adore display of affection. Being a submissive my definition of what constitutes this, may perhaps be a bit different from what other (okay, vanilla) people will see as affection. Kneeling in front of someone, being allowed to kiss their feet, a firm grip in my neck, or a hand in the small of my back guiding me, are only but a few of the ways that make me feel cherished and loved.

So, given all of the above, why would I not appreciate someone who is nice to me. This is because I left out an important distinction. I do not like people being nice to me within the context of a BDSM scene.

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Well talk about funny, I was looking on submissive prompts for inspirations for a last minute, late night blog. And it seems that all the questions that actually appeal to me are those that actively have to do with my relationship with Mistress.

I am not sure how that come to be, but while this may be hard to do, perhaps it is also a good thing to do. Something that helps me both remember where I have come from, what I have been through. A famous quote goes; do not be sad that it is over, smile that it happened. I am not so sure about the first part of that statement, but there is a certain amount of truth that is part of the second one.

Perhaps this week is a rather short introduction to this rather or somewhat introspective blog. But hey, it gives you perhaps a glimpse in part of my soul and what my past is. If that kind of thing really interest you anyway. If not, well there is nothing I can do about. Well you could suggest topics for me to write about 😉

So this week there are about five questions that hark back to my relationship with Mistress. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I actually enjoyed writing it, in that bitter sweet way. There is not a lot more I can say about this but rather, I think I let the written words do the talking:

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As someone mentioned to me, I tend to say quite often that I do not know what to write about or that this is not going to be a long blog. Then to prove myself wrong I write easily in excess of a good two thousand words.

Is that long? I do not know. however what I know is this. When I started blogging, for some reason or another I decided that a decent length blog would be around the sixteen hundred word mark. Not a target I always manage and I have at times down scaled my own expectations to anywhere between twelve and sixteen hundred as a good amount. Often however I tend to go well over it.

The strange thing of this all, is that this number is entirely arbitrary. I havre actually never asked my Mistress, how much words she expected of me and she never actually told me either. Strange that. I think for her, the fact that I wrote was more important to her, then the amount that I wrote. Either that or she had a number in her head and wanted to see, how well I did on my own, before stepping in. It does not overly matter in any case. I write to my best ability.

What I suppose, is important, that she has kindled my desire to write, my ability to write (when that ability choose to manifest itself) and given me structure in my life to do so. For that alone I am thankful.

So, why did I start this blog, with saying about writing?

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Another week, another blog and so the wheels turn and turn, week after week. Although I don’t have as much as subject this week, there are some things I would like to touch upon. So consider this blog entirely freestyle and a large mix of things that currently occupy my mind.

Well when I say occupy my mind, I mean these are things that sort of pop in and out of my mind when I was thinking what to write about. Sadly not as easy this week but it can’t be that fun every week and I suppose that as time I do actually have to work for my words, although I am not sure I can promise an elaborate work as the last few weeks.

Of course first of all, it is remembrance weekend, the weekend before the eleventh hour on the eleventh of the eleventh. And no this is not a Doctor Who reference, although there will be doctor who stuff for those interested. But first of all, on to more serious elements.

poppy-red-corn_stdThis Sunday is Remembrance Sunday, which traditionally is held on the second Sunday in November, which is the nearest to Armistice Day (11 November), the anniversary of the end of hostilities in the First World War at 11 a.m. in 1918. Remembrance Sunday is held “to commemorate the contribution of British and Commonwealth military and civilian servicemen and women in the two World Wars and later conflicts”

On the Saturday before that, the BBC shows the Festival of Remembrance, which is a moving and emotional affair that includes displays by members of the armed forces, choral performances, and prayers.

It ends with the parading of military personnel down the aisles and onto the floor of the hall with representatives from the youth uniformed organisations and the uniformed public security services of the City of London, and the release of poppy petals from the roof of the hall. Especially the last part is very very touching and I never can hold my tears back. Even more so if you realise that every poppy that falls from the ceiling actually represents a member of our armed forces that gave the ultimate sacrifice.

So, tomorrow, I will be watching the ceremony at the cenotaph and remember those who have fallen. Not out of some lofty ideals, or to glorify the wars that we are currently engaged in but because these men and women did what they believed was right when it was needed. And thanks to that, we have our freedom. And in this day and age where those freedoms are continually getting chipped away against in name of the greater good, it is perhaps worth remembering what people gave for that.


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Well greatest of all news, is that after last week, I am back. Wow, what a week it was. Travelling always takes it out on me. But combine the travelling with the emotion of the funeral as well as interacting with a lot of people, we have a rather large family means I am pretty wiped out (more about that later). As you perhaps noticed this blog is posted a bit later than usual (and definitely a lot later than the last two weeks).

Of course the heat has not helped a lot either, rending me pretty much like a smoked sauteed kitty. Yes I know it is summer but we here are not build to endure heat as some other countries may be. First of all air-conditioning is pretty rare except in office buildings, and most of our houses are actually build to keep heat in, rather than get rid of it. To give a bit of a more concrete example about this, most of our walls are anywhere between six and ten inches, with insulation in between.

We’re simply not used to it. Last summer was basically a complete drenched out affair and drowned half the country. It was then said that there was a good possibility that the next ten years (!) of summer would be the same. And look at it now… Of course, complaining about the weather is just a pure national past time here. Obviously we next complain if it rains, is overcast or when the thunder comes that it is so loud we can’t hear the telly. Nothing like a good moan about it while being down at the pub.

So as for this blog, it’s mostly a rambly and a pretty personal one. Writing about things that happened to me in the last couple of weeks and a preview of sorts of what I am going to write about (hopefully, but you know me).


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I am not sure how far I am going to get with this blog tonight, and I am talking about length rather than if I can actually blog tonight. For once it is not because I lack in the ability to write, even though I am lacking a definitive topic. But of reasons for a far more personal nature.

And for once I am going to by and large just write for myself. Now that sounds strange, because after all this is my blog and I write about what I want. But as i have remarked upon in the past, I also do at times cater to my audiences and write about things I want them to know or for which they have asked me, either directly or indirectly. As a blogger, I am not above being creative in finding things to write about and to generate content.

But the reason I am writing for myself, is not what I write, or how, but what about (hmm that’s pretty much what, but in my mind a difference). Tonight I want to write something that is very personal to me and that pertains directly to my current real life. As I mentioned,  my mind is pretty much not with it this day.


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Well for my second blog-post of the year I was sort of planning to write a story. Yes, I have started a new story. Directly from a challenge to write something that is much darker and harsher in tone then my previous two published stories. So in the middle of the night I got inspiration (interesting how inspiration always seem to strike right in the middle of the night when you are supposed to get sleep and never the moment you open up your trust text editor and stare at the magnificence that is the blank page?

But rest assured, there is a new story in the planning and I have a good two thousand words written on it already. And that is basically just the beginning and the end. The story is about a girl under going training at the hands of a dominant that may go to no ends to mould her in the way he sees fit. How will she last this onslaught of emotions, new attitudes and enforced servitude? Well for that you need to read my story when I put it up. But so far, the reaction have been pretty good (I have a small core of readers to which I release material from time to time). You know who you are and thank you.

But sadly, after the first dash of words, I have seen to halted and need to work out how to proceed with my work on this one, where do I want the story to go and where do I want to take my characters. What obstacles will they over come and how will I delve into the darker sides of bdsm, without giving in to sheer banality and stay true to my own writing style and do my work the justice I think it does deserve? Answers on a postcard…

One of the more awesome experiences this week was while I was sitting down and talking with a group of people a person messaged me and said she finally figured out I was the writer of this blog. I can not express how much her enthusiasm meant to me. If nothing else it is nice to be recognised (hey, it is my 15 minutes of fame and I want them!), but to hear that your blog helps to inspire people to write, that is high praise indeed. Thank you so much!

So for this week, apart from my own incessant rambling, I shall try to touch on a few topics that crossed across my mind this week.


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