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Posts Tagged ‘isolation’

Good evening folks. It is of course, Saturday night and that means writing. Today’s topic will be a myriad (or is it a plethora)of questions that I came across. I have a received a few helpful suggestions of writing topics that I can explore at some later point.

Including in these topics is the difference between dominants that rely heavily on protocol (something I tend to gravitate towards heavily) and dominants that prefer a more relaxed but sensual approach to their craft. Thank you Miss Carley Noonan for suggesting this topic! Another topic that I have decided that needed some attention was the topic on apologies. Sorry sometimes seems to be hardest word, as the lyrics go, but there are plenty of occasions where the word is muttered to easy. I want to look at what constitute a good apology and how you can go about formulating and making it meaningful.

In other exiting news, I have reached my 8th rez day in Second Life. For those not aware of the term; a rez-day, much like a cake-day (as used by sites like reddit and imgur) is the day that you signed up for the online world of Second Life. Basically your digital birthday. So this means I have spend the last eight years in a digital world and made some wonderful friends, met my beloved and wonderful owner and Mistress.

So many things have changed on a platform such as this. From the invention of RLV, the bondage scene and toys that come with it, to mesh; from clothing to body parts. It makes you wonder when a platform such as Second Life would rival graphics to a level that we would expect of modern games. Imagine the graphics of a setting such as the last instalment of Assassin’s Creed (but without the horrible texture bugs, hah!). I am curious to see where the world is going to and what kind of developments we will see over the coming years and to what extend the world and its supporting platform can be pushed.

When I was doing some quick research this evening to find something to write about, I came across the following question. “When you hesitate to write something, what reminder can you give yourself to be as completely honest as you can, both factually and emotionally?”

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Last week I started to write about dehumanisation, as a possible path that can lead to submission and what the different ins and outs that are associated with this variant of play, or perhaps variant of living is. However I soon figured I had perhaps bitten off much more then I can chew in one blog post over one night. At least not unless I was planning to do a face-plant on keyboard in the middle of my writing and then waking up in the morning with keys stamped all over my face and not a single letter published. Plus I reached a natural ending at that point and having started up another subject would have meant that I would have to cut it off in the middle of writing.

To quickly recap last week, I dealt in the first place with the definitions as I am known to do so that everyone knows what I am talking about. Dehumanisation can be described as:  “depriving an individual of human qualities, rights, and privileges“, where depersonalisation is “characterised by the loss of identity and feelings of unreality and strangeness about one’s own behaviour” and lastly objectification which is “treating a person merely as an instrument for the sake of one owns pleasure without regard for personality, dignity or capabilities.

So this week i am going to see again how far I am going to get and if time and words again prove to be the limiting factor, then I may actually post a third blog, finishing with the last of my ideas on this topic. This week I will however start with writing about why dehumanisation and depersonalisation are so popular in bdsm and what some of the techniques and tools are that can be used or are used

And with that let’s us dive headlong in the topic.
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Sometimes when writing you are struggling to grasp a topic. You are working through your options, look here and there and trying to figure out where you want to go and where you need to go. It’s something I have described as “the terror of the blank page”. It just sits there the cursor blinking at you in the corner as if to say “well, what are you waiting for…”

Your eyes catch the blinking, knowing that at some points the words should be drawn out from there to appear on the screen before you, page after page (well at least three pages long) and your words flow like prose should flow, and …. the truth of that moment is, it never comes. This is always my fear that at that moment in time, the words just utterly completely fail me.

Of course in contrast, there are those wonderful moments that everything does fall into place and the words take off on their own and you hammer them out with the rhythmic beat that would not be without merit as the soundtrack to the mechanical workings of Victorian industrial revolution or an army marching drill.

I have always found, and I am sure that many writers and bloggers will agree with me, that writing when someone asks you to write about a certain topic is always easier then when you have to come up with a subject on your own. So today, as I am always prone todo, I decided to poke around various sims in Second Life, asking people if they have a topic about which they like to read, so that I can research it and write it.

Today, such a topic was handed by a dear friend of mine, Miss Ash Yheng, who after some discussion came to the topic of “Dehumanisation, as a path to submission“. Now considering that dehumanisation to an extend has been an interest of me, I decided that it was an interesting challenge for me to write about.
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Tonight’s blog is dealing with bondage, and by and large aimed at the virtual world of second Life. I am not going to even pretend I do not like being tied up or other exclamations of fake innocence in this regard. Yes, you all know I love to get tied up and that I revel in the feeling and loss of control.

This is however not a feeling that is solely restricted (see what I did there?) to the virtual world however. I enjoy bondage in real life just as much. And it is because of this love of bondage in both worlds that I am destined to draw parallels between the two in terms of ability and restriction, where I can or perhaps where applicable.

Yes I am aware that there are things in one world that can not be replicated in the real world or vice versa. If only things were so simple. Who would not be able to kneel on their knees for hours at a time, be tied up in the most stringent of positions for long periods of time without being able to move a muscle and without any after effects.

Thus we can safely conclude that no two worlds are the same and that in real life we should be aware of these risks and act on our kink in a consensual knowledgeable manner. However just because things are not the same, does not mean we can apply a degree of reason and reality to our play in the virtual world, can we?

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Last week while I was looking for some prompts to write my blog, I came across the following entry along with some follow up questions. Reading over them I thought that answering these would mean to dive possibly deeper in a topic then I could do it justice in one evening.

So, what are these questions? The question in themselves have a lot to do with self identity and the the usage of self within a bdsm relationship. We all know that BDSM and especially D/s relationships (yes, there is some biased there) can be quite intense. This intensity can lead to feelings over being overwhelmed and the self making place for, I suppose a more shared personality as it where where ideas and notions are shared alongside your dominant.

So the questions for this week are as such: In the beginning of your relationship, did you ever wonder if you would lose your sense of self somehow in your slavery? Has that proven to be the case? Is that still a question for you?

And also the following questions that are closely related, but not necessarily to the start of any BDSM relationship:

  • Do you ever fear of losing your own identity or sense of self within your service?
  • Do you welcome the idea of losing your sense of self or identity?
  • Do you believe it is possible -for you- to do so?
  • Do you believe it would be (or that it is) healthy -for you- to do so

So let’s have a look, shall we? (more…)

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So, as always, I tend to pick up inspiration about things to write, when people in Second Life tend to talk about things. One of these subjects that was talked about this week was the usage of RLV restrictions or rather why a particular set of restriction was not useful. This lead me to the topic of this week: RLV restrictions and how to apply them.

So this post is going to be strictly about the world of Second Life, and the use of BDSM with in that and pretty much geared towards bondage. I thought it would make a nice change from the otherwise general BDSM advice (or there abouts) that I tend to write about. That is when I am not writing creatively or rambling freestyle.

The biggest problem I have with writing about this subject is that I am pretty much in two minds about this subject. On the one hand I can see to make certain restrictions have certain consequences about the interaction in world, but on the other hand; as a submissive (and especially one who very much love to be bound) my pleasure derives from doing dominant expects of me. And if my dominant decide to apply restrictions in a lesser or more restrictive format, I am not one to complain or tell that they are doing it wrong. I really have more sense than that. Honestly, really. Fer realz.

(And okay, I may just love it … but that is a discussion entirely best suited for another time)

So what is so interesting about RLV restrictions?
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Five weeks passed Saturday. After a week which was both interesting and hard.

Tuesday evening Vanni had her “Hot under the Collar” event. Mistress and I happily could attend. While we were somewhat fashionably late it was fun to “see” other people for a bit. Although I noticed how quick emotions play up when being isolated. As simple as just clicking onto something became a major chore.Still I managed all in all, with a lot of Mistress help.

The rest of the week I spend between our dungeon and home. and it was hard going at times. I was definitely missing my friends and struggling with being so restrained.

But last night, Mistress decided that after five weeks, over a 180, a-hundred hours, locked up and incommunicado, as they say, that for now it was enough. She removed my bondage and all restraints and restrictions.

So what are my records now? Or rather how long have I been locked away from everything ?

Steel Shackle (RA) after 181 hours 12 minutes 30 secs
Steel Shackle (RW) after 180 hours 57 minutes 50 secs
RR Scarf blindfold after 188 hours 26 minutes 40 secs
RR Ballgag after 184 hours 31 minutes 10 secs

So I am for the time being free and able to come and see people and talk to those that have tried to IM me or send me note cards. I look forward to catching up with everyone and just wandering around the grid causing mayhem and chaos.

And yet, still a small part of me, regrets being free. Guess that’s the “insane” part of me, the need for that feeling of total loss of control in many ways. But for now, I am will get back to my normal self and be alive ..

I am sure that at some point I’ll end up being tied up.

xx
lexi

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