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Posts Tagged ‘introspection’

So, yes, it’s been very quiet on my blog. It seems the writing had gotten a bit in a rut over the last month plus. Whether this is a good thing or not, I don’t know. I love to say that soon I will return to regular blogging, however I loathe to make claims I would be unwilling to keep.

Likewise, the saying that the thought about writing is never far from my mind, would at best be a half truth. In part it is true. Bit thinking about writing only gets you so far. Doing it is the real test. And it is a test that I perhaps with shocking regularity seem to fail.

On the other hand, writing in many ways has become a chore. Something that had to be done, rather something that I wanted to do. Whether that is because I was ordered, because I had things to share, is perhaps a lesser concern then the fact that I enjoyed doing it.

Maybe not the struggle, but certainly the finished product. The efforts of my labour. However that has become less and less over the last year and a half. The new job (if you can talk about new, still) is challenging, and the longer commute certainly drain my energy.

To spend several hours agonising about what to write and to write had come to symbolise an expenditure of energy that at times is hard to justify to myself. Sometimes the weekend is just not long enough to waste that energy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my current job, and I’m learning more and new things each day.

But something just had to give. And this, my blog had been one of the few. So, where does that leave me? Is this goodbye, shall this place and I fade slowly into that dark night? Why, yes, I have a flair for the dramatic.

To answer that question….
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The weekend by, partially because a very busy and hectic real life and a reasonably occupied weekend actually has not seen me get much chance to do any writing. Plus there was something that I wanted or needed to watch. Well strongly wanted at least.

The problem is that this left me with very little time to actually do any writing whatsoever this weekend. This is pretty shamelessly bad of me. I thought I was off to a good start last week but it seems I have had a momentarily relapse. But I am sitting down to write now and while I may not have enough time left in the day to do my writing. I still have my stuff to get ready for tomorrow.

Still any writing I will get done today, will safe me having to do tomorrow. Which at the rate I am going this will be the larger chunk of writing this. But, I think as the saying goes, such is life. I still am committed to blogging. The schedule may be a bit off at times but I am planning to keep writing as much as I possibly can. The only difference I may make this year is over Christmas.

First a little bit of an update on my personal life as much as it is shareable. I have noticed a slow shift in myself moving away or perhaps moving a little bit onward. Thoughts that begin to bubble to the service. There have been a few times this week where on purpose I have not worn my collar. For the first time in over 6 years.  Time will, hopefully make it easier. I still do go back to wearing it. There is a certain familiarity and comfort in feeling it around my neck. I know that some of you think I am probably less then sane, but this is my way of dealing with it.

Baby steps. That is it…

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Ah to write or not to write. It is something that I seem to get to struggle with more and more these days. It’s perhaps not that amazing or shocking. This week saw the nine month pass by since I have heard anything from my Mistress. I must admit that if I am honest with myself the likely hood of her returning to Second Life is something that seems more unlikely with the time passing. It is hard to find closure in things when all you are left to face is questions without answers.

One of these questions is obviously about blogging. Yes, I know all the arguments that someone could make. It is my blog. I have put in all the work in and the words I have written are mine and mine alone, whether that was for better or worse. That is only part of the equation of course. It is however the part that I take pride in. I think I once counted all the words that I have written over the years and while it has not reached the epic proportions to put it on par with War and Peace, it is by no means an amount to be sneered at.

The counter of that argument is that, that this blog has been fairly well tied up with her. No – not in that way you perverts! She did however order me to write and for a long long while she would let me know that she had read my blog and give me feed back on it. Knowing that she read what I wrote always provided not just source of motivation, but a mental stick behind the door that helped me spur on.
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Well everyone, we made it without alien invasion, the second coming, Mayans, Aztecs, Incas, undead zombie-mummies, or flying spaghetti monsters throwing a spanner in the works.

So a very warm welcome to my blog in 2014…

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas and New Year. Mine was good with good food, good company and some awesome presents. Books and booze. What else do you need for the cold winter evenings to be curled up in a big chair with a good book.

Although winter is perhaps a big misnomer around here. While the weather is entirely vile and bleak and the news is full of coastal areas being flooded (luckily no where near I am!). But so far we still have to see an entire night of frost. The way which it is going right now, it looks like winter may skip us all together.

But you know what they say. Forecasting the future and the weather is about as useful as trying to tell a time in a clock shop. So time shall tell what the weather will be.

Well after a short hiatus where my computer decided to overheat and I needed to deal with that, hard to write if your computer is not working. And while I have both a laptop, a tablet and a mobile phone (so I could write if I desperately wanted to …), writing for me is still best done on my desktop.

So onwards we go. As promised, in this blog I will talk a little bit about the numbers that make up this blog.

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