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Posts Tagged ‘bondage’

It’s been all in all a rather busy week but at least in most respects; plus admittedly I am still a little bit hungover after going out out on the town last night. Ever heard about this saying “write drunk, edit sober”? I am sure Hemingway had no problem doing that but it seems I am not good either of them. It’s also questionable if the quote actually is directly attributable to Hemingway but that is perhaps for literary musings of another time.

No, I am not still drunk. I have in the past tried to write drunk. Three martini’s is a hell of a kick to be writing on, it also makes it actually a lot harder to write then you would think. Editing sober, is only decent if you don’t have to deal with a hangover. But, no sympathy after all for self inflicted pain. Besides, pain inflicted by others can be much more delicious and better, well, as long as it is consensual.

But a week can be quite a difference. I think I am somewhat start to acclimatise to the work schedule although I know I still have a long to go. However this weekend is a first one in a long time that I feel fairly relaxed without the hint of any kind of anxiety or panic feelings. So hey, that’s a fairly huge step forward.

But really, what a difference a week can make. As I wrote last week, I got slightly tied up by a dominant. But that was not the end of it, and neither was it slightly. Following on from that evening, I pretty much spend the week tied up, gagged, bound, helpless in one way of another. It’s been, as you can imagine, a rather long time since I have been that tightly and that long restrained.

It did teach me at least some things …
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Right, I better get actually my butt in gear and start writing. It’s been an absolute gorgeous weekend and I have been rather busy away (mostly) from the computer. I actually had to adult for real today. My garden is horrendously overgrown and I noticed people walking past the window and looking at the overgrown weeds in it. So something needed to done. At least it looks a whole lot better now! Sure I probably need to fight it back a couple of of more times before it get to a manageable state. So far really my exciting life! *laughs*

Well, I just deleted a large chunk of my blog, mostly because I am really struggling with writing. Yes, I said I would work on doing the Frequently asked questions post. But looking through the question I felt I was facing an incredible drag to writing about it. So I am shelving that for the moment. I am sorry and I do apologise.

Honestly, my life is such in a emotional upheaval now. The new job that is entirely more demanding in ways that my old job was not, my time schedule has entirely changed. It is strange to think that less then two months ago I was still being up till three or four am in the morning! Now, if it gets past eleven in the evening and I can’t wait to get into bed!

So lots of changes and while my dear Mistress was apt of saying that change is inevitable and wonderful, I am still not sure about that. Yes, change is inevitable. I am currently the living proof of that. Not that I am the only one more then likely to undergo changes in my life. However, it is my blog so a lot of the things I write are applicable to me.

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Good evening my dear readers. So tonight I had a much dunked ego and slightly less damaged lip. Apparently I am not grown up enough to eat pizza without any kind of help. I managed to burn the side of my mouth and lip with some piping hot salami/peperoni oil. Ouch!

Other then that it has been a little bit of a quiet week, although I am making some progress (finally!) with unpacking my house. While I will not bore you very much with all the particular details, I finally got some energy to spare to direct to finding places for stuff to go. It’s a long way to go but I made good progress and hopefully by Christmas  ninety percent of the things will be stored away!

While I was going to do some more serious writing above combination and a general feeling of being sore and tired/weary/worn-out means I had to look for other solutions. Luckily the solution for this game in the form of Tyra Love who posted a blog about her favourite and least favourite things. I met Tyra ages ago at the Cellar where she was doing some research for one of her blog posts on gags. Thus, this seemed like a good idea and some nice light subject to get my writing in, without sending my brain immediately into a huge meltdown and grey puddly mess.

A word of the “warning”; the information in this blog tonight, pertains mostly to the virtual world of Second Life. But let’s get started and see what my most favourite restraints are 😉

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I tried to write, but at the moment I am just having too many things going on. Of course I am still in the middle of the house move, which is taking me considerably more time then I was hoping for, not in the least place because I see things wrong with the house that need my attention to fixing. But in time I shall get there and I try keeping in mind that the foundations of the house are good and the rest may be cosmetics that I will get to there with time and patience. Now, if only I could believe what I tell myself as well.

My given choice for today was actually going to be some kind of BDSM meme, but , but from all the BDSM memes that I was looking at, it seemed one by one I have dome them all I have this afternoon started at least writing two only to discover by the fifth question that indeed I had done these all. So back I went for more inspiration.

I think with the amount of writing that I do, that I have so far done every single meme that I could think of. Sure, I am sure that some of them I could have done a lot more in depth (I am thinking such as the “thirty days of kink/bdsm”, and the “kinky alphabet series”. But since I am also having the made-up rule that I am supposed to write a decent amount of text (around fourteen to sixteen hundred words on average), sometimes it is easier to compact things rather then trying to write less then I want.

So, no memes to find; what is next?
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After the shock and sadness from last week, this week has luckily been rather more on the level, in terms of excitement. Something I have been largely grateful for. Not that this has been an easy week. I miss my kitten deeply and I keep doing little things before catching myself out.

I know that it is normal but, it still makes me think of him and feel a little bit sad. Normal but upsetting at the same time, although on the other hand I should be worried if I did not react that way. I know with time it will pass and I will look upon the time shared between me and him with warmth and happiness. Still to raw at the moment I think.

I saw something interesting on twitter this evening. Apparently there is a writers contest being held. One short story, twenty-five hundred words, nothing pre-published. I may actually partake in that. Of course the non pre-published part means I can not use any of my stories that I have written so far. So I will need to have a think about this, not to mention what I will write about.

This week I wanted to write a little more BDSM orientated. I told you I would return to my favourite subject at some point. Tonight’s inspiration came by the way of Tessa Romanov who poked me last night that one of the regulars in Second Life and also a blogger was writing a blog about gags.

Now I love gags, and by that extension all kinds of sensory deprivation play. So I quickly hopped over to have a listen and a chat and I had a lovely evening chatting with the wonderful Tyra and Tessa, about the pros and cons. While I do not want to steal away Tyra’s thunder by writing exclusively about gags, I decided to write a little bit about the use of sensory deprivation within BDSM, and especially aimed at the problems one encounters in virtual environments such as Second Life.

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First of all a big thanks to all my readers, it seems you really liked my blog on “What if punishment isn’t?” I hit a new record for daily hits and I think I have had more likes on that post then I had on any other post before. So thank you, very much from the bottom of my heart.

This makes it sounds a bit like I am actually writing for the hits and likes and nothing could be further from the truth. I write because I have to, because I want to and because, after a fashion I like to write. I will not deny that I still struggle at times with finding topics week in week out. Regular readers of my blog will know that if I truly suffer from finding a topic to write, I tend to write freestyle, or as I am apt to name it: waffle a lot about nothing.

But I digress, as I was saying the opening paragraph does make it sound like the hits and likes are all that what matters in the end, but by and large my real satisfaction comes from having written a good blog, for my own feeling a good blog. The likes, the obvious signs of love that are bestowed upon me, are literally the icing on the cake and very much appreciated! So again; thank you very much!! I am really happy and pleased that you all enjoyed my blog so much.

For those interested, a couple of weeks ago, I wrote how I was struck down with a nasty bug in the form of a cold and a fever to boot. The good news of that is that I am quite sure to declare myself fully recovered to full health. I am no longer feeling like an old tea towel, and the cough is gone as well, which means I get a decent amount of sleep and my sides stop hurting as well. So yay!! Now if the weather will actually improve so we can have nice spring and bacon. That would be awesome.

In a little bit of worse news; Yesterday I was looking for some of my writing materials, mainly the work I had done on “Self Control” and especially chapter seven, and I found all was a single text file containing three hundred twenty-five words. I was gutted, devastated and a foul mood. Luckily most of the story is actually here on wordpress. But I lost probably a good five hundred words all in all on a new chapter. Yes, I had backups, but not good enough ones apparently.

The side effect of that is that I am not going to be writing about chapter seven. At least not this week, the pain is a bit too fresh and recent. However; I have another story lying around that I will give you instead. So please sit back and enjoy the first part of “The Instruction”.

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After the few last weeks, this week we are kicking off with a fresh new blog, or rather and more accurately, starting off with a new topic. While last week it looked liked initially that I was not able to get it once again all done, I ever surprised myself by actually writing a lot more then I think was possible and managed to get it all into one blog. Needless to say I was pretty happy about that.

So for the last week I have been racking my brain about what to write and while I had several topics lined up, neither actually grabbed my fancy. The problem I noticed that for some ideas (I do tend to be more strict with myself these days, about writing them down as soon as the idea hits me) while writing down what I wanted the topic to be about, I never wrote down how I got to the idea and what my initials thoughts was. That is something that I need to rectify over the coming year. Because after several weeks; just a single word as a topic may just not be enough to jump start the memory of something that happened in a fleeting moment.

So as I am known to do, I asked people around if they had any ideas about what to write about. And the topic of this blog comes by the suggestion of Miss Liandra Hellershanks, who suggested I wrote about the the difficulties of punishing someone within a D/s context when punishments can turn out to be rewards.

The question intrigued me on various levels. As the more faithful readers of my blog may know I have talked several times prior about punishment. While I find the topic very fascinating and have several good conversations with friends and acquaintances on the topic.

I have never really understood where my own fascinations with his topic stems from. I am certainly not, as some may have suggested in the far past, a glutton for punishment, nor is it something that I deeply enjoy when the situation calls for it. But I will fully and freely admit that punishment is not only an effective but also a much needed tool in a relationship.

So let’s us have a look at what the best course of action is to take when punishment does not seem to have the desired effect on the submissive, but in fact quite the opposite:

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