Posts Tagged ‘blogging’

As many may have noticed, I am currently on a bit of a self imposed hiatus. A few people have remarked on this and asked me to write about the why. I reluctantly agreed to this. Now the day is drawing close I am even more regretting and perhaps to an extent resenting that I agreed to it. Why? Because despite what people may think, my blog is my own. And even more, I write because I want. I may let others actually inspire me, even put forward topics, but in the end of the day, these are my words and my thoughts that are on paper, digitally or otherwise.

It was put to me “that I only write when being prompted or told”, I think that is kinda a misnomer. Yes, I like people to give me ideas, put forward subjects. But as I have always said: It is to me to decide what to write, what direction my thoughts take me. The topic is supplied, the content is created by me.

Why do you I like topics supplied? Because, to have it quite simply put; if you blog as long as I have (since February 2012), and blog with great regularity, then yes at some point you are going to run out of topics you can talk about. There is only so many introductions into BDSM you can give, there are only so many blogs you can write about punishment, or any given topic that interest me. So yes, you start to look for inspiration elsewhere.

So often I have  started this blog by saying I picked up a discussion point, or overheard something. And more then my fair share of blogs have been started with a request of people for me to write about something. Yes I love to write for people, especially for people I feel strongly towards, to whom I submit. They can be a tremendous power of inspiration for me.

After all they bring their own mix of experiences, of wants to the table. Those may clash with mine, those may supplement mine, they may push me further then I have ever before. That is stuff I can work with. I can write and explore my own thoughts. Write and process. I have many a time mentioned that writing for me is a way of thinking out loud as it where, to process, to come to understand.


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So, yes, it’s been very quiet on my blog. It seems the writing had gotten a bit in a rut over the last month plus. Whether this is a good thing or not, I don’t know. I love to say that soon I will return to regular blogging, however I loathe to make claims I would be unwilling to keep.

Likewise, the saying that the thought about writing is never far from my mind, would at best be a half truth. In part it is true. Bit thinking about writing only gets you so far. Doing it is the real test. And it is a test that I perhaps with shocking regularity seem to fail.

On the other hand, writing in many ways has become a chore. Something that had to be done, rather something that I wanted to do. Whether that is because I was ordered, because I had things to share, is perhaps a lesser concern then the fact that I enjoyed doing it.

Maybe not the struggle, but certainly the finished product. The efforts of my labour. However that has become less and less over the last year and a half. The new job (if you can talk about new, still) is challenging, and the longer commute certainly drain my energy.

To spend several hours agonising about what to write and to write had come to symbolise an expenditure of energy that at times is hard to justify to myself. Sometimes the weekend is just not long enough to waste that energy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my current job, and I’m learning more and new things each day.

But something just had to give. And this, my blog had been one of the few. So, where does that leave me? Is this goodbye, shall this place and I fade slowly into that dark night? Why, yes, I have a flair for the dramatic.

To answer that question….

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To all my readers, a very happy New Year and the best wishes. I hope you all had a wonderful New Years eve! Mine was reasonably quiet, although there was some fireworks set off in the neighbourhood that I got to watch. But the new year has started and we are heading into the fray with a new blog post, because there is no rest for the wicked it seems. Either that means I am really wicked or someone has the utterly misguided idea that I am. Obviously I am innocence personified in all ways. And those sitting at the back of the peanut gallery, if you please can stop snickering, thank you very much. 😉

The last year, in a nutshell was utterly tasking. The amount of energy it has taken from me and piled up worries, has even taken me by surprise. But I am in a good place now. Still it is very much getting used to all the new sounds, the new sounds of the neighbourhood. I am still having to deal with some of the residue of when I was living in that hellhole of a place. It’s not as bad as it was, but yeah, it is still there. On the plus side, I am now looking forward to the days becoming longer and warmer again. I hope we have a great spring and summer.

But yes, my own place, and while it still needs work, I am not planning to move any time soon. Which, in time, will give me the possibility to do this place up to my own liking and standards and while it means investing money, it does mean that in the long term I can get that money back, providing the housing market doesn’t collapse. All grown up stuff that!

On that note, we shall move on with the rest of the blog. There is only so much introspective navel gazing one can and should do on a late Saturday evening while the words should appear on the screen.

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