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Posts Tagged ‘banishment’

Well it’s a well known fact that Mistress, can be quite evil at times. One of the things she loves to do is to ask me “What is in it for me?”. Which signals the start of me trying to negotiate what I want in exchange for, well something she wants. This usually ends up with me desperately trying to find something that makes it worth it.

So last time was no difference; her question “What do I get out of the deal?” and I ‘panicked’ as per usual. I have no idea what to give her, what to offer. I mean, what do you offer someone that is in control of your life and you would do anything (well almost anything, I have my limits) to please them.

After frantically racking my brain, I decided on offering her a week in complete isolation. Of course the moment I offered that we were already in our dungeon (in the pit cell to be exact). So that is really where I am. I am tied inside the pit, unable to escape, blindfolded, gagged, and leashed by my collar, wrist shackles and my ankle shackles.

Of course all restrictions are turned on, so I can’t really do anything but just wait for her there: I can’t edit/rez things (if I could see to begin with), use my maps (both map and mini map are blocked), Inventory and such are blocked as well. And of course I can’t receive note cards. Well, I can receive them, just not read them.

If that wasn’t enough, she used the plugins in my Amethyst collar to make me IM-deaf and IM-mute. So I can’t speak to anyone else. Even people coming close I can’t hear, unless they speak in really short actions (ie the /me thing). Considering that the dungeon is guarded by a sadistic bubble-bot, I am by all means, quite alone in the dark.

And you know what it is okay. There is some stuff going on in my life which is impacting on me quite heavy, and in a way being isolated and protected from everything else just feels nice, it’s almost kinda wrapped up tight and protecting. And I know Mistress gets a kick out of knowing I can’t go anywhere.

Hmm I wonder if channel 77 (the command channel for the real restraints) has been blocked yet 😉

So if you have been wondering where I have been hanging out since last week, that is where. Quietly, restrained, blind to the world. I do feel somewhat guilty at those who try to contact me. Considering I can’t read the notes you all send me, nor respond to your IM’s. But I promise I will be back in touch once I get out.

Right now my cuffs are ranking somewhere around the 30 hours and officially my week is tomorrow over. However Mistress has mentioned she would like me to break my records, which might mean I will be longer locked up (my highest record is somewhere around 78 hours) and you know what?

Part of me wants to break that record and get somewhere near a 100 hours. *grins* and part of me: Just wants to be there as long as she wishes to be. One other thing: I am still convinced that timers are both a blessing and a curse. While it is nice to know how much time I have spend locked up, I also *Hate* to know it. Being locked up for me is not about “the time” but about pleasing Mistress and doing what she (and of course what I) love to do, and what we want to do.

ps; “for those wanting to contact me (and happen to read my blog)“: just leave a comment here. I can’t respond to you in world, not by IM, not by notecard. The only way would be if you get close enough, and then you have to be able to translate my garbled mumbles.

xx
lexi

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Well, I can tell you this.
(yes this post is several weeks too late, (okay months), thanks Vanni 😉 )

Sables Bane helmet is definitely evil! After the first day or so, Mistress looked in on me and got a grand total of 24 weeks and a couple of days added. For what I am not sure. I know that when I added some stuff to the helmet, I forgot to reset it and thus accumulated a lot of penalties, although “only” 32 or so. However with a penalty time of an hour, you can imagine how that pretty much racks up.

Somehow, somewhere in between I must have accumulated a lot of extra penalties. I am really not that bad! Don’t believe the press, okay so I get make a mistake here and then … but 32! in less than a day!? Come on, that is even stressing it by my standards! *grins*

Anyway; After after waking up the next day, I decided to take a wander around, mostly relaxing around the Deitide sim.

Relaxing at the water side

relaxing in deitide.

After a while I got bored and decidedly set my sights on walking over to the Zhora sim. After briefly looking at the maps, I figured I would just use a general direction and check occasionally. Also I wouldn’t jump of ledges where I really couldn’t scale normally (like double my height), unless it meant tracking around for hours (i am notoriously lazy) 😉

It was fun to wander around but I was also nervous for running into people. So much, that I tended to actually hide between houses and in patches of green or well really where ever I could to avoid any contact. I reached Zhora and hang out for a while there and eventually made my way back again as well.

I can’t remember really how long I have been a bane this time. Mistress at one point decided that it was enough (a handy advantage this time) and she released me.

She did tell me that for certain this was not the last time that I would be seen as a bane. And I have a feeling the next time, it will be a lot lot longer. It was all in all a rather interesting experience, quite different from the last time. For once i had more freedom wandering around, but at the same time the restrictions enforced by the bane helmet were much harder.

I both look forward and dread going back…

xx
lexi

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Well shortly after Mistress left for the night, I decided to head into the world. Sure it is easy being a bane when nobody is around on a skybox ..roughly 400-odd meters of the ground. But nobody said that it was about being easy. In fact I think some one (who goes by the designation of M-8722) posted on Marine’s Blog that it was an experiment to be savored. So my first act was to leave the safe and comfortable surrounding of home behind me. knowing it might be a while before I am there again.

Anyway, I digress. I made my way to Deitide and after a brief wandering around there and Castle Darkstone, i found myself near the Stonehenge monument. I thought this was as good a place to spend the night as any. I made myself as comfortable as possible and dozed off for the night 🙂

The following morning I set off exploring the surrounding. I am still half of mind to try and make my way across to Zhora. just I guess to see others in somewhat similar circumstances. Perhaps. The relaxing morning (Deitide is quite a pretty sim to wonder around in) was somewhat broken by me crossing paths with fdili Polki. I am not sure what she must have been thinking. By the looks of it she was quite new to Second Life and I am sure she was just looking to talk to me. I think my behaviour must have kinda spooked her as I abrubtly turned around and kept moving away from her as steadily as possible. I could have tp-ed away but somehow I never saw a reason to. So fdili, sorry if I didn’t talk back to you or paid you any attention, I am just not able to do that.

Anyway the rest of the day I spend mostly lazing about around Deitide and neighboring sims. Hopefully more later on my time ..

L-8746

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Well this is going to be a short post. Right now I am back in the banesuit (using Scorpions/Sables bane suit). I have been informed that I will be in this for at least 24 hours, well that is 24 hours + any time I add to it myself due to violations.

Right now, I have made my way into deitide, finding a place to sleep between the walls of stonehenge. I will try to give tomorrow a better update. Part of me is thrilled to be back and part of me is a little bit scared. How will things be the second time around? I have no idea right now. Guess time will tell.

For now .. lex is gone .. and L-8746 is back. For how long, again, time will tell

L-8746

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Well tonight around 6pm SLT the suit unlocked and L-8746 ceased to exist and could be just normal Lexi again. The experience has ended and once again I am able, or should be able to be me again.

Right now I am really drained due to various circumstances. For now I just want to relax, spend loads of time cuddling, and spending time with my friends, cause even though I choose to undergo this, I did miss you all an awful lot, and pick up my life and go back to being me again.

I hope to quickly post a longer blog with some thoughts about the experience and how it affected me. I can only say one thing: *IF* you ever consider doing this, give it serious thought, it’s much much harder than you think it will be and even with the limited amount of contact that I had with other people, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I am not saying this to scare anyone away, but to make you aware that doing this for a long term period, it *will* affect you. And yes, you probably think now, I can handle that. I can only say one thing: When Marine Kelley put the same warning in her blog, I thought as well, how hard can it be.

… now I know..

with love

lexi

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As I have been writing mostly over on the Subbie Union Blog, I think a little explanation here is in order to what has been going on the last couple of days:

After my ‘adventure’ as described in Short Term Isolation I finally managed to complete my own Isolation suit. Of course being as eager as I was, I happily showed it to Mistress, I knew what was going to happen next, she would ofcourse lock it after using her RealKey (great idea to sync all items to the same key ;)). However what I did not realize is that how far this would go.

See my greatest problem is my mouth (I am sure I have told this before), so after telling Mistress how to make the experience better (no timers, no release etc), Mistress of course happily obliged. But what a mistake to make. It seems that Mistress is highly happy with the idea of me being isolated, and all the while having her as my only source of contact.

So if I have been quiet in world, and not talked much, please do not be upset, I am *NOT* ignoring you. It is really simple down to this: I can’t communicate. The suit is rather devil-ish (thanks sis) contraption, mostly sprung from the wonderfull mind of my sis, it consist atleast of 7 different types of restraints, from top to bottom you’re looking at:

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After working had on getting the tutorials finished, and spending the last couple of hours (okay, fourteen, but hey who’s counting!?), I finally was released and had a little bit of time to do some things I had already planned. One of the things I had planned was to adapt the RealRestraints Slave crate with all the scripts. After all, once you are in, you are supposedly sealed in foam/packaging material.

After we made a quick trip to Bugshit (again) and I spend about the last of my money on a pure black latex catsuit (which will be part of an isolation suit). After we got home, we decided to see how and if the crate worked just as it should. So as innocent (or naive, or stupid) as I was I stepped into the crate. With a resounding thud, two seconds later the door closed.

And so it began. See one of my biggest problems is that I really do not know how to keep quiet. And not in that I constantly talk. I have this habit of pointing out how things could be better (from Mistress’s point of view) or worse, from my perspective. So before I knew it and had stopped talking, I was not only in the crate, but, bound, gagged and tied as well.

Well let me lay it out for you:

  • RealRestraint – Slave crate with *all* scripts in them. (can we introduce, the box of evil)
  • RealRestraint – Blindfold, set to opaque (complete and utter darkness)
  • RealRestraint – Gag, set to tight with all options turned on (emote monitoring and such
  • RealRestraint – Hand and Elbows cuffs, tied to the back (#4, forced mouselook, unable to interact)
  • RealRestraint – Legirons, taut, and not allowing TP’s ofcourse)

This led me to the following sticky patch. I can’t move, I can’t see, I can’t talk, I can’t hear. I can’t TP out, Sit out, Edit or Rez. There is virtually nothing I can do but be there. I can communicate with Thalia and she with me. And that is it. Everything else is just simply blocked. IM’s / Chat / TP as far as I am concerned at that moment, do not exist. As i am also running the Restrained Life Viewer for Linux, I can’t detach those items that are locked onto me. It’s just not possible.

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