Archive for June, 2016

It’s been an strange week. Busy as hell, and real life events beyond my control have left me rather upset and reeling and disappointed in some things. But I am not going to go into them here on my blog. Mostly because I do not want this, mostly because I can not act reasonable and get very angry about this. Perhaps sensory depredation is a solution for this, but that could be just wishful thinking.

As some may have seen though, this blog is written in the first person. Several people (you both know who you are) having expressed their notion about this and I think that writing in the first person makes me both write faster and being more able to express my ideas, and they are after all my ideas and as such I will them express. Writing in the third person is fun but it is sometimes also a challenge to express my views adequately. Thus back to normal hammering out the words it will be.

I have been having a lot of thoughts lately with regards BDSM, learning new things, learning new ways of looking at things. One of these things that I got from this was the realisation that some of the ways I react, it is perhaps not the healthiest way, an understandable way perhaps, but not healthy. I am also doing a fair amount of self-domination. And that is what I am writing about this week.

Self domination. The act where you are controlling your emotions, and actions. Rather then trusting in your dominant to have that control. I am not talking about giving up the control to breathe, or to keep your temper (although there is something to be said for there). That would be much more in the realm of self control, even though breathing is a bad example because that is an autonomous response.

Anyway, …


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This blog, has been a while in the making, mostly because of a single sentence that was uttered to this girl during play. As such things go, it did stick in her head, and from that single seed this blog grew. If that was where the seed was planted, then why has this taken so long to come to fruition?

As such things go, they sit around, trying to find the right angle, finding the right words and then a second bit comes and slowly the ideas, the structure starts to take place. As such, sometimes it can take a long time for things to get to that point, sometimes they come instantly.

Of course,  it is always easier to write to direct questions like the last few blogs but sometimes one has to sit down and write properly. As this girl has often mentioned. Writing is often as much sharing what she knows as as well figuring out what she is writing about.

One note is there will be a little bit of a change on this blog. From now on she will actually have a little bit P.S.at the end of the blog; this is where she will be sharing some of her thoughts she had this week, which she has been requested to do. So that will have its own separate header at the end of the blog.


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Well it has been a rather few busy and funny old weeks, as you may have noticed she hasn’t really written a lot, mostly because last weekend she was not feeling very well, something not entirely unlike a migraine which left this girl feeling very much far worse off.

Other than that she has been preparing for th arrival of her parents this weekend, cleaning the house and all that jazz that comes with visits. But that is not entirely the thing that has got me delaying, although feeling tired due to it all certainly will not have helped.

Still she’s having fun in the world of second life, having learned a lot in the past weeks, not just about herself, but about bdsm by and large as well. What can this girl learn about bdsm you’d say? More then you would think. She definitely is not a know it all. There are always things that we can learn and can improve on. Taken that it has taken this girl twenty months she seems finally moving on a little bit. There is much to go and much that sounds like secrecy in this blog. Maybe in due time all will be clear and this girl can be more open about the changes that are happening. For now she is taking baby steps into a new world. As she once described to a friend: “it kind of is like holding a hot cup of coffee, filled to the brink and you have to sneeze”

Anyway, this week is that last part in the hypnosis series, there were originally thirty questions, but she may drop some from this as well, there are some questions she already answered in a previous blog of hers on this topic. With that having said: Time to get cracking!


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