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Archive for March, 2016

A couple of years ago, I was talking to a dominant in second life, and we seemed to get on. He certainly was nice enough. However after a while, and a few meetings and playing, I stopped seeing him. Why?

The entire notion of what happened came down to one thing really (a few others as well but those were not of such a severity that they couldn’t be overcome): The reason was this; he was definitely too nice.

I know this may sound strange, but it is the reason. When I expressed this thought to friends, some understood, some did not. Trying to explain myself did not entirely work, so perhaps in the peace and quiet while writing I have better success in achieving this.

The first question really is: Do I not like nice people? The answer is: of course I do. I love nice and warm people. I love being cuddled, having my hair played with, and other displays of affection.  Just like any other person, like any human being, I love being treated well, with respect. Being loved is a beautiful privilege.

As I mentioned before, I adore display of affection. Being a submissive my definition of what constitutes this, may perhaps be a bit different from what other (okay, vanilla) people will see as affection. Kneeling in front of someone, being allowed to kiss their feet, a firm grip in my neck, or a hand in the small of my back guiding me, are only but a few of the ways that make me feel cherished and loved.

So, given all of the above, why would I not appreciate someone who is nice to me. This is because I left out an important distinction. I do not like people being nice to me within the context of a BDSM scene.
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Busy, busy, busy. That is pretty much the way it somehow seems to best describe my love as of late. In have not been much in a mood for writing ( yes, the age old dilemma rearing its ugly head once again); not in the least helped by the fact that last weekend I needed to recover much from the weekend before where I sadly needed to work, due to unforeseen circumstances. Luckily I managed to get a few posts written, this one being one of them.

A touch too late but better late then never. And above all I wanted to write. So this post has actually been a couple of weeks in the making and I decided to finish it tonight.

In my blog ‘Trained to Talk‘, (admittedly something that I really enjoyed writing, both in form and in subject, but digressing!),  the lady Gotham left a comment asking the following:

I think that gender plays a role here in that being submissive to a Mistress is very different than being submissive to a Master. I am a Mistress and I have had submissives of both genders respectively; not at the same time. However, it was a very different experience. I preferred the female slave however it’s a delicate balance either way. Can you speak to the gender issue please in terms of the submissive point of view.”

Lady Gotham, on December 25, 2015 at 5:37 pm

I have long pondered this question, and wondered what to exactly say about this. Perhaps in part as this was not entirely clear in my own mind what the question was. Not at least because the whole gender on submission question, is something that that feels like a much bigger topic then one that I could answer in a single blog post.So why write about it regardless? Mostly, if not completely by the sheer fact that it has been awhile since lady Gotham asked her question. But I promised that in I would write about it, and while my timing is entirely off ( nothing new there, eh) I will keep to my promise.

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Well well well, it has been a funny old year. But yes it is March again. And this time it has really snug up on me as well. Time does fly.

As many who read my blog will know, this year, was steeped in upheaval. With a new job, losing our house in SL, and me stepping away from my Mistress after she has been gone for over a year from our virtual world. Still no trace.

In the mean time, I have started on answering a question posted by the Lady Gotham, a while back. But a very busy weekend (work, not kink related), meant that I never got any time to sit down and write. Still I wanted to quickly put this post up to announce that, of course, I will be opening my blog and participate in the March blogger challenge.

So what is this all about? Some of you all may know this already. Throughout the blogosphere, March is known as the question and answer month. I have run the March Q&A challenge for the last four years previous as well, so I think we are sticking with this.

So, the rules:

So here’s the deal ….
You ask me a question and I’ll answer them.

So for a whole month long you get to quick-fire,
interrogate, cross examine me to your hearts content.

I’ll end this neatly .. on the 31st of March at midnight UTC.

In return, I promise I will answer all and any question you will ask me. Even if that answer is “none of your business”. And no don’t go asking where I live if you are not prepared for an answer like that or much in line.

Leave your question in my comments,
poke me within Second Life,

or

send me an email at lex (dot) berchot (a-t) googlemail (dot) com.

Hopefully until soon!
Stay safe, ask questions, and have fun!
lexi

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