Archive for February, 2014

First of all a big thanks to all my readers, it seems you really liked my blog on “What if punishment isn’t?” I hit a new record for daily hits and I think I have had more likes on that post then I had on any other post before. So thank you, very much from the bottom of my heart.

This makes it sounds a bit like I am actually writing for the hits and likes and nothing could be further from the truth. I write because I have to, because I want to and because, after a fashion I like to write. I will not deny that I still struggle at times with finding topics week in week out. Regular readers of my blog will know that if I truly suffer from finding a topic to write, I tend to write freestyle, or as I am apt to name it: waffle a lot about nothing.

But I digress, as I was saying the opening paragraph does make it sound like the hits and likes are all that what matters in the end, but by and large my real satisfaction comes from having written a good blog, for my own feeling a good blog. The likes, the obvious signs of love that are bestowed upon me, are literally the icing on the cake and very much appreciated! So again; thank you very much!! I am really happy and pleased that you all enjoyed my blog so much.

For those interested, a couple of weeks ago, I wrote how I was struck down with a nasty bug in the form of a cold and a fever to boot. The good news of that is that I am quite sure to declare myself fully recovered to full health. I am no longer feeling like an old tea towel, and the cough is gone as well, which means I get a decent amount of sleep and my sides stop hurting as well. So yay!! Now if the weather will actually improve so we can have nice spring and bacon. That would be awesome.

In a little bit of worse news; Yesterday I was looking for some of my writing materials, mainly the work I had done on “Self Control” and especially chapter seven, and I found all was a single text file containing three hundred twenty-five words. I was gutted, devastated and a foul mood. Luckily most of the story is actually here on wordpress. But I lost probably a good five hundred words all in all on a new chapter. Yes, I had backups, but not good enough ones apparently.

The side effect of that is that I am not going to be writing about chapter seven. At least not this week, the pain is a bit too fresh and recent. However; I have another story lying around that I will give you instead. So please sit back and enjoy the first part of “The Instruction”.


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After the few last weeks, this week we are kicking off with a fresh new blog, or rather and more accurately, starting off with a new topic. While last week it looked liked initially that I was not able to get it once again all done, I ever surprised myself by actually writing a lot more then I think was possible and managed to get it all into one blog. Needless to say I was pretty happy about that.

So for the last week I have been racking my brain about what to write and while I had several topics lined up, neither actually grabbed my fancy. The problem I noticed that for some ideas (I do tend to be more strict with myself these days, about writing them down as soon as the idea hits me) while writing down what I wanted the topic to be about, I never wrote down how I got to the idea and what my initials thoughts was. That is something that I need to rectify over the coming year. Because after several weeks; just a single word as a topic may just not be enough to jump start the memory of something that happened in a fleeting moment.

So as I am known to do, I asked people around if they had any ideas about what to write about. And the topic of this blog comes by the suggestion of Miss Liandra Hellershanks, who suggested I wrote about the the difficulties of punishing someone within a D/s context when punishments can turn out to be rewards.

The question intrigued me on various levels. As the more faithful readers of my blog may know I have talked several times prior about punishment. While I find the topic very fascinating and have several good conversations with friends and acquaintances on the topic.

I have never really understood where my own fascinations with his topic stems from. I am certainly not, as some may have suggested in the far past, a glutton for punishment, nor is it something that I deeply enjoy when the situation calls for it. But I will fully and freely admit that punishment is not only an effective but also a much needed tool in a relationship.

So let’s us have a look at what the best course of action is to take when punishment does not seem to have the desired effect on the submissive, but in fact quite the opposite:


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Good evening my dear readers. Well what a week it has been. Last Sunday, hot on the heels of my second instalment, I went out to a party and immediately picked up a nice flu bug going around.

Result is that I have been house bound most of the week and not even in the good kind of way, no rope was involved. I could almost pout and sulk about it, but I shall not. And while I have popping painkiller much like a demented film star in Hollywood, the cold and flu are slow in shifting.

Obviously when you have a cold, one should not go out to a party, albeit I did. Sadly one of these things that I really could not get out of and I thought that as long as I pop myself full of painkillers I should be able to handle it, after all I had been fever free all day. Well that turned out to be a mistake. It hit me with a double whammy when I got home that evening. So that is a lesson learned for next time. Sorry Mistress, I will not do it again.

As for today’s blog, I promised the third part of my ongoing series about dehumanisation and whether that can be a path to submission. In today’s blog I want to go a bit deeper in what the possibilities are and how you can make things work for you.

Added to that I will take a look at what the differences are between a digital version of dehumanisation and reality. And how real is engaging in this kind of play in a digital world. What are the repercussions, and what are the ethics of this kind of play? And to top it off I will answer the question that is the title.

It’s been a lot of fun and a little bit stressful writing this deeply about a subject and I still feel that I have left out a lot. However I hope that these blogs will give you at least a little bit of a better understanding about dehumanisation and depersonalisation and what the possibilities are.


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Last week I started to write about dehumanisation, as a possible path that can lead to submission and what the different ins and outs that are associated with this variant of play, or perhaps variant of living is. However I soon figured I had perhaps bitten off much more then I can chew in one blog post over one night. At least not unless I was planning to do a face-plant on keyboard in the middle of my writing and then waking up in the morning with keys stamped all over my face and not a single letter published. Plus I reached a natural ending at that point and having started up another subject would have meant that I would have to cut it off in the middle of writing.

To quickly recap last week, I dealt in the first place with the definitions as I am known to do so that everyone knows what I am talking about. Dehumanisation can be described as:  “depriving an individual of human qualities, rights, and privileges“, where depersonalisation is “characterised by the loss of identity and feelings of unreality and strangeness about one’s own behaviour” and lastly objectification which is “treating a person merely as an instrument for the sake of one owns pleasure without regard for personality, dignity or capabilities.

So this week i am going to see again how far I am going to get and if time and words again prove to be the limiting factor, then I may actually post a third blog, finishing with the last of my ideas on this topic. This week I will however start with writing about why dehumanisation and depersonalisation are so popular in bdsm and what some of the techniques and tools are that can be used or are used

And with that let’s us dive headlong in the topic.

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