Archive for December, 2012

Last blog …

Off the year! Hah! No do not be afraid, I am not going to stop blogging.

I honestly do not think I would be allowed. Admittedly, I have found some joy in writing and putting my thoughts to the screen. Imagine that blogs would have to be hand written. I am sure that I would not have reached many people. My handwriting becomes quickly illegible after a sentence or two and if I would write over a thousand words, it would probably be easier to read cuneiform.

So, a whole year has passed and I thought that it would be fitting to look back over the last year about what has happened and what has passed. It’s been in many regards a rather interesting year.

First of all, and I think that is the most obvious one is that in February this year I have started blogging again and not just the occasional post, pretty much blogging on a regular basis. I think all in all I may have missed one or two weeks where I did not write, either due to a holiday or unforeseen circumstances.

In the beginning I was rather struggling with blogging, but (and I am reluctantly to admit this) the last few months I feel that I am getting better. Not just at putting my thoughts on any given subject onto paper, but also not getting all stressed out when writing does not come. My biggest downfall at the moment. I still write perhaps rather late in the week (usually the evening before), which if the block-fairy strikes, it means that the deadline looms and dooms consistently closer.

And to my own surprise, I have even started a sort of short type story, and posted 4 chapters here so far. And that has been going quite well, although I am trying to figure out how to continue the story. Of course with family visiting, the run up to Christmas, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, (Sorry, I just had to think of the movie, the King and I, starring Yul Brynner) I haven’t time to sit down and work this out in my head.

Speaking of writers and their works, this year also saw the release of `50 shades of grey’ which caused a furore in homes up and down the country and I think as much in the editorial world. Nowadays you can not walk past the bookshelves in the supermarket to find all kind of books on this subject. Some better than others, mind.

One book that did stand out for me, or rather a trilogy of books, is a series called “the original sinners“, by Tiffany Reisz, who has written three books so far which deal with BDSM themes and a very interesting story line and believable characters. I can not recommend these books enough.

This year, saw me being with my wonderful Mistress for three years(!), as she pointed out that meant that for more than the half of my second life, I have belonged to her. That was an interesting and powerful realisation. And I am looking forward to the next three years. Thank you Mistress, once again, for the wonderful years you have given me.

I also turned six, in second life years, and I now feel properly among the old timers of this world *laughs*, even though I know there are those who surpass my age with ease and have been around since the dawn of time itself.

And so much has changed over time. Especially with the introduction of mesh, allowing some wonderful things in fashion to see the light of day and in fetish-wear as well (hey this is after all *me* who is writing).

Those that stand out are *KaS* for their wonderful catsuit and corset dress, of course without a shadow of the doubt, the ever so talented (and cute) Darien Caldwell, who brought out a beautiful harness and straitjacket. And of course Marine Kelley with her new mesh ropes which are just too much fun.

On the fashion side of things, there are too many designers to keep track of that have brought out wonderful additions to my ever expanding wardrobe, to name a few; *G Field*, Maitreya, Schadenfreude and ColdLogic. I am sure I am missing 99% of all the fashion designers out there but as they say, c’est la vie.

Sadly as wonderful the world of Second Life is, it is also very transient and people and places come and go and are sadly missed by the people who frequent them. I am thinking of places in world such as Wicked Seduction and the D/s Chapter-house and its owner Minerva who sadly seem to have disappeared. Also one of my favourite fashion designers, Miko Omegamu from *Icing* seems to have gone quiet for over a year. They are, as far as I am concerned, deeply missed and I hope and pray they are well.

Yes, so that made me a bit more sad then I thought it would. But onwards and upwards as they say. I will not say, what Churchill used to say in situations like that, even though the phrase just tickles me pink.

With the new year looming around the corner, I believe this is the traditional time to both look back and ahead and make new year resolutions. Except for the tiny little fact that I do not do them *laughs* I think if you are wanting to make a change, you should do it there and then and not wait until some date. That only puts pressure on yourself. Just do it when you are ready.

But I am looking forward to the new year, to continue and improve my knowledge of the French Language, to learn more and go out and meet people in Leicester. I also want to start getting back on my bicylce and maybe start running. I found an enamours fun app for my android called Zombie Run. I mean, what is not to like .. Zombies, game-play, check!

And of course, to bring the circle round write! While I do not dream to have any hope to write in the same league as Tiffany Reisz, I still hope to publish and finish some more stories and write blogs about various subjects.

But above all I hope to have a wonderful year both in Second Life and in reality with my family and loved ones, with my friends and those who I haven’t met yet. I am looking positively towards the future and hope for the best.

To everyone reading this blog

I wish you, from the bottom of my heart a very Happy New Year.
May all your hopes, dreams and wishes come true and it is my profound wish that wellness and peace will remain your companion throughout the coming year

With all my love,

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Last week while I was looking for some prompts to write my blog, I came across the following entry along with some follow up questions. Reading over them I thought that answering these would mean to dive possibly deeper in a topic then I could do it justice in one evening.

So, what are these questions? The question in themselves have a lot to do with self identity and the the usage of self within a bdsm relationship. We all know that BDSM and especially D/s relationships (yes, there is some biased there) can be quite intense. This intensity can lead to feelings over being overwhelmed and the self making place for, I suppose a more shared personality as it where where ideas and notions are shared alongside your dominant.

So the questions for this week are as such: In the beginning of your relationship, did you ever wonder if you would lose your sense of self somehow in your slavery? Has that proven to be the case? Is that still a question for you?

And also the following questions that are closely related, but not necessarily to the start of any BDSM relationship:

  • Do you ever fear of losing your own identity or sense of self within your service?
  • Do you welcome the idea of losing your sense of self or identity?
  • Do you believe it is possible -for you- to do so?
  • Do you believe it would be (or that it is) healthy -for you- to do so

So let’s have a look, shall we? (more…)

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Tonight, I am going once again through various questions picked up among others from the submissives prompt website. In talking with Mistress about my blog she said she liked these submissive prompts both for a learning opportunity and learning my thoughts.

And of course, I do strive to make her happy. *laughs*  (hi Mistress!)

After founding a good number of questions for me to answer, I noticed that most of them were  in line with either relationship advice or advice to knew people and self exploration

  1. How long did it take for you to obtain your collar? What process did you go through for your collar?
  2. What advice would you give a new submissive just exploring her submissive self?
  3. What advice would you give a novice about introducing their partner to BDSM?
  4. How do you handle your owner’s disappointment in you or your performance (in a task)- or is this a situation that does not occur for you?
  5. Is it important to you to have friends who are also in similar style relationships? Why or why not

I cut the number of questions from the original amount that I had gathered. While these questions where without a shadow of a doubt quite interesting to answer, they were interesting enough for me to sit on them and steam about them, do a bit of research and dedicate a whole separate blog to them:

So without further ado, I give you my answers, thought and feelings on the aforementioned questions.

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The topic for tonight’s blog is a fantastical Smörgåsbord (Do you not just adore that word, it made my keyboard groan with pleasure), of various topics and questions taken from the submissive prompt website. I have several questions that I found interesting enough to write about and will do my best to be as complete as possible.

So, let’s get started. The subjects are various. Basically I look at the list of prompts or use the sites random feature and copy down those that I like and think I could write something about. Sometimes the question do not appeal to me or I think the answer would be way to short to write about. But enough about my methodology

The questions posted for tonight:

Please note that as always the standard disclaimer that this is my blog and that I write purely from my own experiences, thoughts and motivations. These may differ from how you live your life and how you see these issues. With that in mind, let’s explore the answers to these questions:

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So today I want to focus on a more dedicated topic than the last couple of weeks. I want to talk about brattiness (as a behaviour) and brats (as a personality) For some reason it seems to be that such behaviour is far more prevalent in Second Life then in Real Life, although by all intentions it does do happen there just as well. I think the reason it is so prevalent in Second Life is that the medium plays its part here, as well as relationships that form over both distance and time-zones. This may make it easier for people to get multitudes of attention from around the globe as it were. I am not sure what causes it, and it’s merely an observation.

The idea of this topic came a last weekend when I was hanging at a BDSM type place in Second Life and overheard a submissive directly stating that she was going to piss of her dominant, so he would be paying attention to her. I tried to talk to her about why she was achieving this and what she thinks this would established but no, she was determined that she was going to get her way.

Such behaviour is not at all uncommon among a certain type of submissives. They are more determined to get their fill or share of pleasure, attention in whatever way it comes and if this does not fulfil them, they are soon off to the next dominant waiting to tease them to reaction. Of course the fulfilment is always short lived.

So let’s explore in this post, what exactly a brat is, what bratty behaviour exactly is and what, for the dominant among us, are some of the tools that can be used to prevent or counter act this kind of behaviour.


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