Archive for March, 2012

One of my favourite topics, bizarrely enough is perhaps the appliance and usage of punishment within BDSM. For long I have stood, head shaking  and watched the use of punishment being regarded as something that is inherently bad, wrong, or not having a place within BDSM, or if used at all, done in a way that is more play than actually punishment.

As far as this blog goes, I am well aware that is not the first time I actually have talked about punishment. Either on my normal blog-posts or as part of the kinkster munches in world (transcript). While I will rehash some of what is discussed there, I will also try and focus more or the mental impact of punishment.


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While I was writing my blog last week I started to immoderately stressing about the fact that I had trouble writing about the subject, coupled that with freaking out about time[1] and not wanting to disappoint Mistress. The biggest part that brought this on is that I started to write about service oriented submission, something that shared some touching glances with doing receptive tasks. But I realised while having written a big chunk of text on it, I was going hopelessly off course in a direction that had very little to do with the actual topic of my chosen subject.

So when this week came around, it made the choice for once all to simple although I am as per usual still procrastinating until the later moments before working myself up into a frenzy and delivering (a hopefully decent) blog and interesting subject. So in this blog I want to talk as indicated about Service Oriented Submissions (which abbreviation is SOS, which really isn’t a cry of warning to the domestic submissive hotline.)

When most people are asked or tell that they like service or like serving, a deeper probe into the actually meaning often brings to the forefront that it boils down to sexual service (the playful french maid that is taken by the owner) or other kinds of play, such at boot worship. However in reality there is a lot more to Service Oriented Submission than the frivolities of play, and while perhaps more seldom (or perhaps more overlooked) there are submissives who find deeper fulfilment into being of service to their dominant then actual play.

So what is the classic definition of Service-Oriented Submission?

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Within D/s relationship it is not entirely unheard of for the dominant to set various tasks (or chores) for the submissive. These tasks can range over a wide area of activities. From domestic chores to sexual ones to tasks designed to enhance the submissive service or their well-being, either physical or mental.

There are two different tasks in my opinion (not to be confused with the various actual tasks themselves); repeating and non repeating. The non repeating task could be something as a “write an essay exploring the need for sensory deprivation in all its facets.” This would enable the submissive to pour all her thoughts into something that can be used further on to the relationship.

A repeating task, well to keep it close to home; “write a blog every week.” But also housework, would fall under the repeating tasks that can be set by a dominant. The advantage of a repeating task would be that it gives the submissive structure, and enables them to plan ahead. They know what is expected of them and what is coming when.

While there are many reasons for a dominant to set tasks for their submissive but basically it boils down to two reasons: The first and foremost is: Because they want it. Reason number two: See reason number one. While this sounds rather funny, perhaps even flippant, let’s have a closer look.


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What is protocol? If we look at the various definitions of protocol it quickly becomes clear that most definitions have to do with either rules or code of conducts. Even the lesser used definitions seems to indicate that protocol is something of prolonged significance. For example: “the first leaf glued to the rolls of papyrus and the notarial documents, on which the date was written“. So in short a protocol can be defined as a rule or code of formally correct behaviour describing how a certain activity should be performed, acted on or responded to.

Within the world of D/s, there is general etiquette, rituals and protocols. Before diving deeper in the my chosen subject, I want to write out the various difference between the main three. For a large part rituals and protocols are at least on some parts, as we will see intertwined, or at least share parts with each other. So how are ritual, protocol and etiquette defined?


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So, in awaiting my official weekly blog post later today, here’s a quick one. It seems that among some bloggers, that March is traditionally known as Question & Answer month.

So here’s the deal …. You ask me a question and I’ll answer them. So for a whole month long you get to quickfire, interrogate, cross examine me to your hearts content.

I’ll end this neatly .. on the 31st of March at midnight UTC.

Leave your question in my comment, poke me within Second Life, or send me an email at lex (dot) berchot (a-t) googlemail (dot) com

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