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Archive for December, 2007

Well tonight around 6pm SLT the suit unlocked and L-8746 ceased to exist and could be just normal Lexi again. The experience has ended and once again I am able, or should be able to be me again.

Right now I am really drained due to various circumstances. For now I just want to relax, spend loads of time cuddling, and spending time with my friends, cause even though I choose to undergo this, I did miss you all an awful lot, and pick up my life and go back to being me again.

I hope to quickly post a longer blog with some thoughts about the experience and how it affected me. I can only say one thing: *IF* you ever consider doing this, give it serious thought, it’s much much harder than you think it will be and even with the limited amount of contact that I had with other people, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be.

I am not saying this to scare anyone away, but to make you aware that doing this for a long term period, it *will* affect you. And yes, you probably think now, I can handle that. I can only say one thing: When Marine Kelley put the same warning in her blog, I thought as well, how hard can it be.

… now I know..

with love

lexi

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Eight Randomly Random facts

Well as I needed to post something, and I never can turn down a good challenge, and as the lovely and wonderful Sophrosyne Stenvaag tagged me for eight (!) randomly disturbing facts about me!

The rules of the latest internet meme:

  • Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
  • People who are tagged need to write a post on their own blog (about their eight things) and post these rules.
  • At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.
  • Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.

I just decided it to it slightly different and hand of my own twist to this. So what you find here is:

– Four Random Facts
– Four Random Questions
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As I have been writing mostly over on the Subbie Union Blog, I think a little explanation here is in order to what has been going on the last couple of days:

After my ‘adventure’ as described in Short Term Isolation I finally managed to complete my own Isolation suit. Of course being as eager as I was, I happily showed it to Mistress, I knew what was going to happen next, she would ofcourse lock it after using her RealKey (great idea to sync all items to the same key ;)). However what I did not realize is that how far this would go.

See my greatest problem is my mouth (I am sure I have told this before), so after telling Mistress how to make the experience better (no timers, no release etc), Mistress of course happily obliged. But what a mistake to make. It seems that Mistress is highly happy with the idea of me being isolated, and all the while having her as my only source of contact.

So if I have been quiet in world, and not talked much, please do not be upset, I am *NOT* ignoring you. It is really simple down to this: I can’t communicate. The suit is rather devil-ish (thanks sis) contraption, mostly sprung from the wonderfull mind of my sis, it consist atleast of 7 different types of restraints, from top to bottom you’re looking at:

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After working had on getting the tutorials finished, and spending the last couple of hours (okay, fourteen, but hey who’s counting!?), I finally was released and had a little bit of time to do some things I had already planned. One of the things I had planned was to adapt the RealRestraints Slave crate with all the scripts. After all, once you are in, you are supposedly sealed in foam/packaging material.

After we made a quick trip to Bugshit (again) and I spend about the last of my money on a pure black latex catsuit (which will be part of an isolation suit). After we got home, we decided to see how and if the crate worked just as it should. So as innocent (or naive, or stupid) as I was I stepped into the crate. With a resounding thud, two seconds later the door closed.

And so it began. See one of my biggest problems is that I really do not know how to keep quiet. And not in that I constantly talk. I have this habit of pointing out how things could be better (from Mistress’s point of view) or worse, from my perspective. So before I knew it and had stopped talking, I was not only in the crate, but, bound, gagged and tied as well.

Well let me lay it out for you:

  • RealRestraint – Slave crate with *all* scripts in them. (can we introduce, the box of evil)
  • RealRestraint – Blindfold, set to opaque (complete and utter darkness)
  • RealRestraint – Gag, set to tight with all options turned on (emote monitoring and such
  • RealRestraint – Hand and Elbows cuffs, tied to the back (#4, forced mouselook, unable to interact)
  • RealRestraint – Legirons, taut, and not allowing TP’s ofcourse)

This led me to the following sticky patch. I can’t move, I can’t see, I can’t talk, I can’t hear. I can’t TP out, Sit out, Edit or Rez. There is virtually nothing I can do but be there. I can communicate with Thalia and she with me. And that is it. Everything else is just simply blocked. IM’s / Chat / TP as far as I am concerned at that moment, do not exist. As i am also running the Restrained Life Viewer for Linux, I can’t detach those items that are locked onto me. It’s just not possible.

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A long long time ago, almost at the start of our relationship, the question came up of me being collared by Thalia. As circumstances around that time prevented it then, we never put it to the back of our minds. We talked often about how and what we wanted.

It seemed already back then that we are very often so on the same wavelength, it’s sometimes really scary. (There have been times have where she’s saying something I really was just thinking about. There were a couple of big issues that we decided almost right from the start.

  1. That the collaring would take place amidst our dearest and closes friends
  2. That the collaring would consist of both the actually collaring and the partnering.

So we finally started planning. The first thing we did was combine a guest list, I think we were somewhat suprised that if everyone would make it *and* bring a guest as well we would be hitting close to a nearly sixty people present at that time.

We had a bit of a struggle getting things organized, but luckily we had such a huge help from our good friend Vanni, who really helped it all pulled together. She came looking for locations with me and eventually ended up suggesting the wonderful church at Chateau de Psau. Once I saw the church (And the accompanying ballroom), I was sold. I just knew it was just the right place. (Thank you Psau and thank you Miss Faith Darrow!!).

With the location and the date firmly set (we choose the 17th of November as that would be two months since we met each other at the Deitide sim. Of course the next item on the agenda was working out the ceremony and getting a dress, which means shopping!!

We got a lovely purple dress for Mistress from Nymphetamine, (a shop which I absolutely adore). However getting a dress that fits a small, gothic neko, was proofing to be a slightly harder task. Again help came in the person of Vanni and friends. We ended up with a little impromptu shopping party (me, Mistresss, Velicia, Vanni, Niki) at Niki Ree’s fashion store. A dangerous shop with loads of lovely and beautiful dresses. We finally settled on a lovely purple satin/silk long ballgown and luckily .. I have the hair to match 😉

Mistress and Me looking our best

(this is Thalia and me, waiting for our guest
to arrive and the ceremony to begin)

The ceremony itself was once again mostly handled by Vanni (as I asked her to officiate the ceremony) She typed it all out and of course we had some input and made it all the way we wanted it. Once everything was settled the big day came.

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Having been bought several outfits that are near Elegant Gothic Lolita and somewhat “Doll” Like in appearance. (thank you all, you know who you are :P). After much banter, Niki was the one that prompted a polite request for pictures. and Thalia though this was a brilliant idea. So head over to my blog and see some of the different outfits that I have.

The two outfits are thanks to my Mistress, Thalia. The left outfit, which really was my first full doll outfit, is called “Lolita Sayuri Long” and is from a place called ‘The Bunker‘ but was bought from ‘Victoriana’s Boutique‘ which is a huge shop full of these Elegant Gothic/Gothic/Gothic Lolita clothing.

My first doll Dress! My first doll Dress!

The out below is latex and was bought (again, she spoils me something rotten) for me, by Thalia, from Draconic Kiss (they have a nice latex section) and is called “Lament“. It’s frankly one of my most favourite outfits 🙂 I wish I could colour it but sadly perms won’t allow it. Well we can’t have everything, can we *grins*. As you can see on the left and in more detail on the right, out of my back sticks a “Toy Box Collection’s wind-up doll AO key!” (I have seen a lovely key that works in conjunction with the Amethyst Collar. That one seems to really make you stop walking if you are not windup *shivers*)

latex sexy doll The Doll key up close

for more pictures : (more…)

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Once in a while…

you come across a story, a story that challenges you, changes your perception. Recently I have come across a story like that and the it’s called “Eudeamon.” (NSFW) The author of this story is someone called EvilDolly (NSFW), and if someone should get into professional writing it is her.

I really have no other words to describe this story than “Oh fuck wow”, “It’s good …. very very good”. It’s so good it makes me almost want to give up writing. (there is also Galatea’sode to suckage’ (or rather the pearl of wisdom) so to speak which also quite speaks to me)

I can really urge you to go and have a read of it. It really touched me on so many levels. It scared me, it filled me with envy, dread, want and above all it made me laugh when the main character was happy and it made me cry when she went through horrible situations. The last couple of chapters I barely stopped weeping from either joy or sadness.

And what about the book, cause it’s really more a book (at 91 pages or so) than a story. I think I am gonna just quote Marine Kelly:

Now why am I talking about this novel ? Well, because the book… shook me a little. In a positive way. It’s definitely food for thoughts, the kind of book that makes you think about yourself, how you perceive others, what your kinks really mean… It gives you a glance about sub-space, about isolation, despair and how to transcend them, about the limits of human sanity. Like meditation. I feel better now that I’ve read this book although I cannot clearly point out why. But who cares. Read this book, and you’ll know.

And I agree. Once you have read the story, you’ll either know exactly what she means or you don’t. And sadly, if you don’t I don’t think you will not get it. Sad perhaps, but I think true. For me, I am not gonna reveal (yet) why this is so immensely powerful. There are so many reasons and I am trying to make sense of them in my head.

I think those that really know me, probably have a good idea exactly why this hits me the way it does.

As for the rest. I have just watched Velicia wander around for five and a half hours in a sort of Isolation suit, her version of it and it …. *sighs* it scares me, thrills me, I envy her and yes, I am jealous and wanted to be in her situation. It also fills me with dread, doubt and wondering if I ever could do such a thing. I hope she will write about her experiences ….

Vel .. please, sis?

xx
lexi

P.S: The follow-up with be readable on the SL Subbie Union Blog.

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