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Ah to write or not to write. It is something that I seem to get to struggle with more and more these days. It’s perhaps not that amazing or shocking. This week saw the nine month pass by since I have heard anything from my Mistress. I must admit that if I am honest with myself the likely hood of her returning to Second Life is something that seems more unlikely with the time passing. It is hard to find closure in things when all you are left to face is questions without answers.

One of these questions is obviously about blogging. Yes, I know all the arguments that someone could make. It is my blog. I have put in all the work in and the words I have written are mine and mine alone, whether that was for better or worse. That is only part of the equation of course. It is however the part that I take pride in. I think I once counted all the words that I have written over the years and while it has not reached the epic proportions to put it on par with War and Peace, it is by no means an amount to be sneered at.

The counter of that argument is that, that this blog has been fairly well tied up with her. No – not in that way you perverts! She did however order me to write and for a long long while she would let me know that she had read my blog and give me feed back on it. Knowing that she read what I wrote always provided not just source of motivation, but a mental stick behind the door that helped me spur on.
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Mara’s fault.

Good evening. After the very short, and perhaps emotional loaded blog from last week, I return to you this on the last eve of this week with something completely different. A lot more lighthearted then last week, perhaps even fun (I hope!).

Above all, this week is most definitely a longer blog. However I did mention last week in my very short blog that I was going to answer some more questions. Seems that was not going to happen. While spending some well overdue time with my dear dear friend Mara, I lamented about my lack of inspiration (strange considering that I have had several questions lined up) and not wanting to write.

She helpfully suggested, well .. as helpful as Mara always is, so I leave those that know here to come up with their own conclusions, that I write a blog named Mara’s Fault. That actually resonated within me and I started to write down the title and then inspiration struck me for a story and I started pounding the keyboard. A little while later, I had a new story, aptly thus named Mara’s fault.

It is something hard to see what way a story will take you, what format it is in and how the story will shape up. But you will see that. It is not something, style wise at least, that I have written before, so in many ways it is a kind of trial for me as well. If anything be kind! But I shall no longer keep you waiting.

By all means please enjoy …!!!

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musing and thoughts

Good evening everyone.

It was a busy weekend, to the point of even getting a slight sunburn. I don’t do well in the sun. However some of the work I wanted to do in the garden is finally done. By no means I am done here but it doesn’t look as much as the overgrown jungle that it was.

As such I have been rather the opposite today and mostly been lounging around the house and relaxing. It does seem that this is the way my weekends are shaping up. Saturday for social and Sunday for rest and relaxation, preparing myself for the week to come. All in all I can live with that.

As for the world of Second Life, well that’s up and down. I still log in and talk to people but nowhere near as much as I used to. It’s kinda bizarre in how many ways my life has changed in the last few months. All in all I would say for the better except … well I think most of you know me well enough to know where that one is leading. Still no word, no sign, no nothing.

It’s coming up nine months and yet I still can’t to seem to be able to shake myself loose from her. I still feel bad if I do something that I know would carry her disapproval. Strange but I suppose in a way it is not. That’s the effect of her training. Maybe one day, I can move past it … but not at the moment.

While I am saying not now, I have noticed that in many cases I feel somewhat less strongly about infractions. I still do not like making them but at the same time the times that I would tear myself apart over this have also moved behind me. I suppose that having gone unchecked for the last nine months is part that effect. As I wrote a long long time ago when I started this blog – there is much power in knowing there is a stick behind the door. That motivation that comes with knowing both where your boundaries lies and what crossing those boundaries means.
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What a week. It has been thoroughly warm and pretty much what could be classed as a heatwave. Stuck in the basement of an old building has not helped matters much, despite having numerous fans and light clothing. It’s been entirely too warm for comfort. Luckily the weekend has brought a little bit of respite with one of the most awesome thunderstorms.

Did I see it? No, in spite of everything it did wake me up but all I did was more or less roll over and go back to sleep. So much for that. Having read the reports the next day I did feel bummed out that I did not roll out of bed and go and watch it. Such is life i suppose.

As for this weeks blog, this consist of more questions. Well less then I had planned because some of them took a long while to pen out. Strange, that I keep using to pet out while I have not been near a single pen while writing this. Much easier to write 1600 odd words by simply bashing them out onto a keyboard.

However, back to the topic at hand. As I said, questions. From the nine originally chosen questions, I have narrowed it down to five and then given time constraints and length wise made the call to stick with three. However do not despair the other will follow in the weeks to come.

I am trying my best to keep the various questions at least confined to a little bit of a topic, so this weeks will deal with D/s relationships, making them work (to an extent) and moving to real life, at least the questions seems to pertain to that. So let’s see!

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Question Time!

Good evening. I am dreadfully sorry for not having posted yesterday. This is the first time in three years that I have actually missed my deadline for writing. A long weekend spend with family who wanted to see something in my area and a promise I made to some friends that went slightly awry (and took a whole lot longer than I expected) meant that by the time I came home I only then realised that I should have written.

The late hour of the day meant that I had really only two possibilities. One; I could have sat down and written there and then. However the lateness of the evening and having had a weekend that pretty much threw my normal rhythm asunder meant that that I would have paid for it today. Much more then I already did.

So knowing that my health comes first, I decided to fore go writing and post today instead. Yes it is late, but better late then never I suppose. I did do however the somewhat smart thing and worked on getting something resembling a topic together for this week.

As most have seen me do, I just love answering questions. It gives me ideas and ways to talk about one of my favourite subjects. Add to this that I have promised in the past that I would answer some more questions in a form of a frequently asked question type style blog. This all means that this method will be used tonight. So sit back and relax and let me kick this off with …

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Kink and BDSM blogging

Good evening all. So a busy week, a busier weekend but there are some good things after this week. Some great friends have told me I can always count on them if something like last week happened with silly dominants. That of course warms the cockles of my heart.

While I am in no way shape or form needing someone to defend my honour, I am after all more then capable to stand up for myself. Still it is nice to know there are people who care enough for me to have my back may I have a need for it.

In other news, I am still alive. For those that haven’t spoken to me in world or otherwise; I woke up last week with bad stomach pains and turns out that the lining had become inflamed and irritated. Very annoying. Whether it is from stress or what I do not know. I have been to see the doctors and well; at the moment while my stomach is acting up a little bit it is improving daily. At least I have not been awake during the night due to pain.

As for this weeks blog; I came across an old blog post from Clarisse Thorn, about Kink Blogging. Something I am pretty much familiar with. Since I was looking for a topic and she offered several questions on the topic of blogging; I thought it would be nice to tackle and answer them,

So without any more delay;
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Looking back and inward

It’s been all in all a rather busy week but at least in most respects; plus admittedly I am still a little bit hungover after going out out on the town last night. Ever heard about this saying “write drunk, edit sober”? I am sure Hemingway had no problem doing that but it seems I am not good either of them. It’s also questionable if the quote actually is directly attributable to Hemingway but that is perhaps for literary musings of another time.

No, I am not still drunk. I have in the past tried to write drunk. Three martini’s is a hell of a kick to be writing on, it also makes it actually a lot harder to write then you would think. Editing sober, is only decent if you don’t have to deal with a hangover. But, no sympathy after all for self inflicted pain. Besides, pain inflicted by others can be much more delicious and better, well, as long as it is consensual.

But a week can be quite a difference. I think I am somewhat start to acclimatise to the work schedule although I know I still have a long to go. However this weekend is a first one in a long time that I feel fairly relaxed without the hint of any kind of anxiety or panic feelings. So hey, that’s a fairly huge step forward.

But really, what a difference a week can make. As I wrote last week, I got slightly tied up by a dominant. But that was not the end of it, and neither was it slightly. Following on from that evening, I pretty much spend the week tied up, gagged, bound, helpless in one way of another. It’s been, as you can imagine, a rather long time since I have been that tightly and that long restrained.

It did teach me at least some things …
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