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Well, here’s the second part of this girls thirty questions on hypnosis as promised (part I, can be read here). And definitely on time as opposed to several days late. Got some mixed reactions on the last blog that she wrote, some good, some less so. But one can’t assume that just every blog well please everyone or at least content wise will appeal top everyone. This girl is of course aware that not everyone will share her entire range of fetishes and fascinations within BDSM. Different strokes and different folks.

To think of that, this girl got set a task this morning (Thursday, as we are speaking). She was to engage in foot worship, cleaning a dominants shoe with her tongue. She was not allowed to talk (after all, who’d want a slave talking with their mouth full), but had to pay strict attention to the shoe, as she will be quizzed on it.whether or not she’ll pass it remains to be seen

It’s a strange place to find myself in, to be subjected to such a thing. This girl wouldn’t say that foot worship is especially a fetish of her, but in the sense of it being a service to provide, she happily does it. Of course the control element and the humiliation of it, work well for this girl.

Still this girl is sure, the activity is having its intended effect as she keeps thinking back to it, remembering the details and with that the feelings that ran through her, work may be interesting today, hehe. But as this girl said, today will be on the next ten questions on hypnosis. So without much further ado, let’s get started:
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This week blog will be part one of a three parter, a total of thirty questions about and on the subject of hypnosis. Why hypnosis, of all subjects. Because it is one of this girls interests. Whether or not she has ever tranced or that her version of what she believes or wants out of hypnosis neither here nor there.

What matters is, is that this is a subject that this girl finds interesting and that she would like to write about and share with you. And because she has never done a thirty questionnaire on the topic of hypnosis, so to get one done this year and help it to her explain and explore this topic and interest of her.

Her love, well at least her interest in hypnosis is something that has been with her for a long time. Perhaps probably the first type of fetish she was really aware of (well short of enjoying being captured and being tied up.

As this girl said, 30 questions more then likely separate over three blog posts. Originally this was called 30 days of hypnosis kink but to be writing for the next two and half years about hypnosis is a bit sleep inducing shall we say? So with that, this girl will try and condense the blog a bit in three separate weeks of writing and hopefully that gives her enough time and space to explore this topic and give all the answers as best as she can. So without much further ado, let’s kick off this blog and start with the first question.

If you want to answer the questions yourself, please feel free to leave the answers to them in this girls comments, or if you want to write your own blog post about it, by all means go ahead. Just please post this girl a link to your blog then in her comments so that she can read yours! Please? For the meantime, have fun reading!

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Our behaviour speaks

This girl wanted to write a blog today. Quite a lot later then she should have. But she was reminded rather dutifully this morning that she had not written and this girl wanted to address that situation as soon as possible. Such expressions of people reading her words, should not come as a surprise after

And as this girl wrote last week about talking in the third person, and she had been for most of that time communicating that way, it almost felt normal to write the next post in that way as well. Funny how it somewhat seems to come easier to me,  although it is well known that this girl does not have a problem with taking.

The topic she wanted to continue on today, is on the use of communication, but mostly about the non verbal communication that a submissive can and does employ.

The question being what did brought this as the topic of choice? The most obvious answer would be that this girl is writing onwards from last week’s topic. But that is more serendipity then actual planning on this girls behalf. The truth is, that she made a mistake this morning. Something that she had been called out on, before. This correction of her behaviour is what showed the seed…

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To write, to talk about speech. This is something that this girl has been experiencing in one way or another for the last few weeks. As some may remember, she wore a while back a whole blog post in the third person. As then today she has decided to follow in those footsteps and write once again a blog in the third person rather then the first person like this girl normally tends to do.

Some of you may remember the blog this girl wrote a few months back, called trained to talk. She hopes that this blog will build and expand on that. Mostly by perhaps going into more variation and deeper into this. Now this girl realises that the style of this blog post and the subject may not to be everyone’s liking but she hopes nonetheless that most find this enlightening and enjoyable reading. As well as that she also hopes that

One thing this girl has realised, is how easy it is for her to slip into this form of both speaking and writing. She found a quote on another blog where a girl was saying why she explicitly would not use third speech. That girls reason was very much as follows: “Once you get into the habit of using certain speech, or typing restrictions, it’s very difficult to stop using them.

Obviously this girl realises that there is a certain kernel of truth in this. Perhaps it is a mindset, perhaps it is part of having an compliant mind. This girl won’t profess that she knows the answer. She knows that several dominant would point out that this is entirely because this girl has the mind of a slave and it is that part of her mind accepting and acknowledging this. This girl honestly doesn’t know. Maybe they are right, or perhaps it is something else…

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I will write,

Yes, I am late in posting. Nothing new there. At least I am trying to get another blogpost out this time. Maybe a bit later then the Sunday or Saturday that I was planning but there are mitigating circumstances, at least there are in my head. Two things really that made life a royal pain in the backside. One work was very hectic and chaotic all day on Friday. Talk about hitting the ground running and not really stopping until I got home. It took me a long time to get over that day. But … it is past me now and  I have a week off. Yay, go me. :3

Secondly, as many probably have heard me bitch about, my heating is on the blink. Or rather, not as much my heating, my boiler. Which means I am currently left without any kind of warm water or the aforementioned heating. A bit of a palaver. The only way I have been able to mostly counter this is by heating my living room with candles. Each night I had about 5 large candles and dozens of tea lights lying around. Very atmospheric. I do need to make sure that I regularly re-air the room. That much candles can not be overly healthy. Thank god it is supposed to get warmer by the end of this week. Plus as I said I am on holiday, this does make the stress of getting ready for work at the moment a little bit less.

Anyway, I am sure you do not want to hear me wither on about the tragedies in my life. On the plus side, I have found a potential new writing tool. I got told recently about Scrivener, a tool that apparently is used a lot by academic to write their thesis. I am always looking out for things that can aid and assist me. So I looked for Scrivener and see whether they actually are useful. It certainly seems to be full of possibilities and I am do like the fact that they offer a typewriter mode. Having used that in Jotterpad a lot, it is something I love using. Mostly because that really does not distract me from anything else.

The downside so far? The linux version that I am using will no longer be developed by Scrivener. Mostly because they choose to work on the windows and mac platform instead. That is something that I really not like. But there is also very little I can do about this. Admittedly I also wished that the typewriter mode would contain an option to actually pale the next that you are not writing. Stick to the current paragraph. I have found that this enables me to be a lot more productive and not be distracted. A bit zen perhaps about staying in the here and now of what I am writing. Rather then letting me distracted about what is in the past. But all in all it does seem to be a very versatile editor. It may be worth for me to eventually switch away from the likes of Abiword or LibreOffice (With abiword being my go to writing. As I said, time will tell.
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So, yes, it’s been very quiet on my blog. It seems the writing had gotten a bit in a rut over the last month plus. Whether this is a good thing or not, I don’t know. I love to say that soon I will return to regular blogging, however I loathe to make claims I would be unwilling to keep.

Likewise, the saying that the thought about writing is never far from my mind, would at best be a half truth. In part it is true. Bit thinking about writing only gets you so far. Doing it is the real test. And it is a test that I perhaps with shocking regularity seem to fail.

On the other hand, writing in many ways has become a chore. Something that had to be done, rather something that I wanted to do. Whether that is because I was ordered, because I had things to share, is perhaps a lesser concern then the fact that I enjoyed doing it.

Maybe not the struggle, but certainly the finished product. The efforts of my labour. However that has become less and less over the last year and a half. The new job (if you can talk about new, still) is challenging, and the longer commute certainly drain my energy.

To spend several hours agonising about what to write and to write had come to symbolise an expenditure of energy that at times is hard to justify to myself. Sometimes the weekend is just not long enough to waste that energy. Don’t get me wrong, I love my current job, and I’m learning more and new things each day.

But something just had to give. And this, my blog had been one of the few. So, where does that leave me? Is this goodbye, shall this place and I fade slowly into that dark night? Why, yes, I have a flair for the dramatic.

To answer that question….
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On not being nice:

A couple of years ago, I was talking to a dominant in second life, and we seemed to get on. He certainly was nice enough. However after a while, and a few meetings and playing, I stopped seeing him. Why?

The entire notion of what happened came down to one thing really (a few others as well but those were not of such a severity that they couldn’t be overcome): The reason was this; he was definitely too nice.

I know this may sound strange, but it is the reason. When I expressed this thought to friends, some understood, some did not. Trying to explain myself did not entirely work, so perhaps in the peace and quiet while writing I have better success in achieving this.

The first question really is: Do I not like nice people? The answer is: of course I do. I love nice and warm people. I love being cuddled, having my hair played with, and other displays of affection.  Just like any other person, like any human being, I love being treated well, with respect. Being loved is a beautiful privilege.

As I mentioned before, I adore display of affection. Being a submissive my definition of what constitutes this, may perhaps be a bit different from what other (okay, vanilla) people will see as affection. Kneeling in front of someone, being allowed to kiss their feet, a firm grip in my neck, or a hand in the small of my back guiding me, are only but a few of the ways that make me feel cherished and loved.

So, given all of the above, why would I not appreciate someone who is nice to me. This is because I left out an important distinction. I do not like people being nice to me within the context of a BDSM scene.
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