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Question Time!

Good evening. I am dreadfully sorry for not having posted yesterday. This is the first time in three years that I have actually missed my deadline for writing. A long weekend spend with family who wanted to see something in my area and a promise I made to some friends that went slightly awry (and took a whole lot longer than I expected) meant that by the time I came home I only then realised that I should have written.

The late hour of the day meant that I had really only two possibilities. One; I could have sat down and written there and then. However the lateness of the evening and having had a weekend that pretty much threw my normal rhythm asunder meant that that I would have paid for it today. Much more then I already did.

So knowing that my health comes first, I decided to fore go writing and post today instead. Yes it is late, but better late then never I suppose. I did do however the somewhat smart thing and worked on getting something resembling a topic together for this week.

As most have seen me do, I just love answering questions. It gives me ideas and ways to talk about one of my favourite subjects. Add to this that I have promised in the past that I would answer some more questions in a form of a frequently asked question type style blog. This all means that this method will be used tonight. So sit back and relax and let me kick this off with …

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Kink and BDSM blogging

Good evening all. So a busy week, a busier weekend but there are some good things after this week. Some great friends have told me I can always count on them if something like last week happened with silly dominants. That of course warms the cockles of my heart.

While I am in no way shape or form needing someone to defend my honour, I am after all more then capable to stand up for myself. Still it is nice to know there are people who care enough for me to have my back may I have a need for it.

In other news, I am still alive. For those that haven’t spoken to me in world or otherwise; I woke up last week with bad stomach pains and turns out that the lining had become inflamed and irritated. Very annoying. Whether it is from stress or what I do not know. I have been to see the doctors and well; at the moment while my stomach is acting up a little bit it is improving daily. At least I have not been awake during the night due to pain.

As for this weeks blog; I came across an old blog post from Clarisse Thorn, about Kink Blogging. Something I am pretty much familiar with. Since I was looking for a topic and she offered several questions on the topic of blogging; I thought it would be nice to tackle and answer them,

So without any more delay;
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Looking back and inward

It’s been all in all a rather busy week but at least in most respects; plus admittedly I am still a little bit hungover after going out out on the town last night. Ever heard about this saying “write drunk, edit sober”? I am sure Hemingway had no problem doing that but it seems I am not good either of them. It’s also questionable if the quote actually is directly attributable to Hemingway but that is perhaps for literary musings of another time.

No, I am not still drunk. I have in the past tried to write drunk. Three martini’s is a hell of a kick to be writing on, it also makes it actually a lot harder to write then you would think. Editing sober, is only decent if you don’t have to deal with a hangover. But, no sympathy after all for self inflicted pain. Besides, pain inflicted by others can be much more delicious and better, well, as long as it is consensual.

But a week can be quite a difference. I think I am somewhat start to acclimatise to the work schedule although I know I still have a long to go. However this weekend is a first one in a long time that I feel fairly relaxed without the hint of any kind of anxiety or panic feelings. So hey, that’s a fairly huge step forward.

But really, what a difference a week can make. As I wrote last week, I got slightly tied up by a dominant. But that was not the end of it, and neither was it slightly. Following on from that evening, I pretty much spend the week tied up, gagged, bound, helpless in one way of another. It’s been, as you can imagine, a rather long time since I have been that tightly and that long restrained.

It did teach me at least some things …
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Right, I better get actually my butt in gear and start writing. It’s been an absolute gorgeous weekend and I have been rather busy away (mostly) from the computer. I actually had to adult for real today. My garden is horrendously overgrown and I noticed people walking past the window and looking at the overgrown weeds in it. So something needed to done. At least it looks a whole lot better now! Sure I probably need to fight it back a couple of of more times before it get to a manageable state. So far really my exciting life! *laughs*

Well, I just deleted a large chunk of my blog, mostly because I am really struggling with writing. Yes, I said I would work on doing the Frequently asked questions post. But looking through the question I felt I was facing an incredible drag to writing about it. So I am shelving that for the moment. I am sorry and I do apologise.

Honestly, my life is such in a emotional upheaval now. The new job that is entirely more demanding in ways that my old job was not, my time schedule has entirely changed. It is strange to think that less then two months ago I was still being up till three or four am in the morning! Now, if it gets past eleven in the evening and I can’t wait to get into bed!

So lots of changes and while my dear Mistress was apt of saying that change is inevitable and wonderful, I am still not sure about that. Yes, change is inevitable. I am currently the living proof of that. Not that I am the only one more then likely to undergo changes in my life. However, it is my blog so a lot of the things I write are applicable to me.

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Sunday evening writings

I think that one of the things that has become abundantly clear is that perhaps I have to give up on the idea of writing on a Saturday. It’s more often then not that my Saturdays are so filled with other stuff and social obligations that by the time I get home in the evening, I am either wiped out to do much or well time for me to crawl straight through the front door and up the stairs into bed.

So perhaps, since I have chosen in the last few weeks to actually write on a Sunday, this may be the new way forward. I will try to write when I can so that I can still publish as early as I can on the Sunday but timings may vary depending a lot on when or what I have on my plate that weekend.

However what is clear to me, that I am in no way ready and/or willing to give up on writing yet. Yes, this blog may have been started as an order from my Mistress and yes, my reason for writing was also in part because I want to please her and do my best in doing so. But this blog has been my labour of love and while I have at times suffered many pains and anxieties about it, it is also the realisation that it is my by hand and mind that this blog has grown into what it was. I could not have done this without her but it is my effort, blood, sweat and tears.

So, with that having said …
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A late blog confession

Yes, yes I know. Where the hell is she with that blog? What is she thinking? Is she not aware that people are waiting for this? Seriously, some one should teach her a lesson. Yeah probably yes to all of them. I am really well aware that my blog is way way over due and that it is much later then I usually post.

So; what’s going on? Well first of all after a long week of working I am a lot more tired then I usually am (and that is saying something!) I decided that last night, that sleep was far more important then writing (I know, the audacity!). Wait, that’s not true.

I do not think that sleeping is more important then writing. What I do believe is that at that time of the night, I was not going to come up with a blog and that struggling to write something was not worth jeopardising my health over it. But as always; best lays plans etc.

This weekend I have been running back and forth to get everything sorted for next week and getting all the shopping in and to restock my cupboards. Add to that that a little bit of work here and there was needed and there was not much time left during the day.

Yep, no rest ever for the wicked it seems. One day, one day, I will get things sorted and just find a nice quiet weekend to relax and do things that I want to do. But that may be well off. On the plus side of this all: Long weekend!! Tomorrow is a bank holiday, memorial day if I remember correctly in the US and several other countries celebrate Pentecost. So long weekend and shorter week at work. I am totally digging that.

So, one of the questions I have for my dear readers is where to go next. I have a few ideas that I need to flesh out in my mind before putting them onto the digital paper. One of them is a FAQ (frequently asked questions); that i found on another blog that seems to compile lots of different questions regarding BDSM. This would tie in nicely with my earlier ‘common questions about BSDM’.

But what I would love to hear from all of you is what kind of topics you would love to hear me talk about. I can not promise I will touch on all of them, but if I can I will. Obviously those that are closer to my heart and which I have experience with will be easier to write then those that are entirely outside of my frame of reference.

So, yes it is going to be a very short blog. I need to get to grips with writing again, with planning my blogs better and getting into the swing of it all. At the same time it is very hard to find motivation at a time when my life seems in so much upheaval.

Yet at the same time; I feel conflicted. Yes I started writing this blog regularly as part of an order that Mistress gave me. Her feedback meant always the world to me. However strange that may be, but with her not being around at the moment, and the unsure reality of where is she or what, the spark that driven me in a lot of things has diminished. Lost maybe, although someone mentioned it to me today, that it is not lost … perhaps just hidden. Time will tell on this. I hope for my sake she’s right.

So I am going to post this short blog and hope to get many responses on what you guys want me to write about. I do apologise again for posting so late. Life found a way to interrupt this. But I still posted.

I hope you have a wonderful week, and for those celebrating have a wonderful bank holiday or Memorial Day.

 

Take care, have fun, and let me know!
Lexi

At the end of the day…

This week, there will be really no blog worth mentioning. I am very grateful for all the words of support that people have left for me and while I am well aware that it takes time and more time to get back to a position where I feel, well in many regards myself again. For all of you that I know and perhaps not know but who read my blog faithfully; your words do give me a source of strength. Thank you, truly and honestly from the bottom of my heart.

See despite the fact it was a house, nay a home, where I have lived for the last six plus months mostly alone, removing it was hard, much harder then I would have thought. In fact; as I have mentioned to many – it was the feeling of an eggshell breaking.

I am not sure how I got through this week and last. By and large, I suppose by being very busy with work. Work in that sense is being a wonderful distraction. But it is also new so there are in that sense a lot of changes happening in my life. I think it all came to a screeching crashing halt this evening when I had a huge meltdown and a panic attack.

I think with work so busy and hectic and the long days that I am making, I have so far, at least not in the last two weeks, given myself enough time to process and work through the various changes in my life and as I said, having a really quiet Saturday, sort of brought it all back to the forefront with all the power and intensity of a tsunami. Not one of the best afternoon I thought I would have.

So at the moment I am feeling very raw on the inside and thus this is pretty much all there will be for a blog. I am at the moment rather debating if I am going to allow comments on here or not. I can see both sides of this arguments. I think for now I am going to allow them to be on. I could always change it

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