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At the end of the day…

This week, there will be really no blog worth mentioning. I am very grateful for all the words of support that people have left for me and while I am well aware that it takes time and more time to get back to a position where I feel, well in many regards myself again. For all of you that I know and perhaps not know but who read my blog faithfully; your words do give me a source of strength. Thank you, truly and honestly from the bottom of my heart.

See despite the fact it was a house, nay a home, where I have lived for the last six plus months mostly alone, removing it was hard, much harder then I would have thought. In fact; as I have mentioned to many – it was the feeling of an eggshell breaking.

I am not sure how I got through this week and last. By and large, I suppose by being very busy with work. Work in that sense is being a wonderful distraction. But it is also new so there are in that sense a lot of changes happening in my life. I think it all came to a screeching crashing halt this evening when I had a huge meltdown and a panic attack.

I think with work so busy and hectic and the long days that I am making, I have so far, at least not in the last two weeks, given myself enough time to process and work through the various changes in my life and as I said, having a really quiet Saturday, sort of brought it all back to the forefront with all the power and intensity of a tsunami. Not one of the best afternoon I thought I would have.

So at the moment I am feeling very raw on the inside and thus this is pretty much all there will be for a blog. I am at the moment rather debating if I am going to allow comments on here or not. I can see both sides of this arguments. I think for now I am going to allow them to be on. I could always change it

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Tonight, a short post only.

It’s late, way to late and unlike the previous weeks I only have sat down to write after the stroke of midnight, which is when I, at least the last few weeks, I should have been in bed.

So tonight, do not expect a master piece of writing from me. In all honesty, this will probably one of my shortest posts. As for my readers, I do apologise for not writing about BDSM and not writing in a way that is my usual cheery self. Instead due to time and circumstances (even though I already decided on the topic) you got a better insight into my personal world, confusing profoundly personal feelings and all.

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Well it has been a heavy and very emotional week with loads of ups and downs and I am pretty much gone through the wringer. The good thing is job related which I will not get into but it is something I have been working towards and have been hoping for a long time, so I am awesomely happy about that.

The not so good news is that due to the absence of my Mistress in Second Life, I am about to loose the plot that we have our land on. I have already started to take back the pieces that belong to me with only a few bits and bobs left. The last remaining things will be done either on Sunday or Monday. I will leave the land clean and pristine to hand it back to our landlords.

It’s going to be hard to loose it. After just over five years since I suggested this parcel and we got it .. I now shall lay my last hand on it, returning it to the way we found it. There are some wonderful and beautiful memories there, perhaps some of the happiest of my life. The memories and the love that was there will be always with me.

I am very much aware that, within Second Life, things come and go and nothing is granted to us. I have seen this happen to others in the eight or so year that I have been inhabiting this wonderful virtual world but … no, I knew it could happen to me, but the heart hopes and hope, as they say does always spring eternal. Right, now .. it just makes me deeply and incredibly sad to loose my home after five years.

One of the things that it has in relevance to tonight topic is this – I have received a part of my training there. In fact, to this day, even after not having seen my Mistress over six months, I still can not get it past my lips to call my cottage anything else then that. It’s my cottage, not my home. Maybe in the months to come that will change. For now, my training holds steadfast.
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Well, I have a confession to make. As many of you may have noticed, there was no blog last night at the stroke of midnight. In fact, midday Sunday has come and gone and there is still no blog, but of course by reading this work, you can deduct what was happening at that time!

My apologies for not having been able to stick to my regular publishing schedule. Although my orders are to publish once a week (and that includes the Sunday), last night while I was writing I was not feeling overly brilliant. Too tired, and in too much pain from a long day running around and doing chores. I decided that for once my health would be more important then the stress of making sure I got my blog done and went to sleep. I do however apologise, but I should get this done in the next few hours and post – so you still get your Sunday reading pleasures but a bit later.

This time we are starting with part 3 of common questions one runs into when starting out in BDSM. I think many people enjoy my writing having gone back to basic and I can not deny it has made a refreshing start for me as well.

Because remembering where I have come from, where we all have come from, taking these first few steps into a bigger and often initially scary looking world, full of its own language, rituals, expectations, and behaviours. I am sure there are many who are taking these steps only now, where I was over ten years ago (by the whiskers of Bastet, that makes me feel right old), learning, feeling their way, trying to assimilate every little bit of knowledge.

Today’s questions are in part given in by comments left by others (Thanks Vanni!) and some others that came forth from that. I am not sure this will be an entirely long blog – but I have been saying that for the last few weeks and every time typed out a long long amount of text for you all to read.

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My plans today for writing got pretty much scuppered and for this you can thank the weather. It has been absolute gorgeous spring weather around here which much meant that my mind has been on other things.

Add to this having to run into town to get my phone sorted – this meant that most of my time today that I had originally planned to devote to writing was gone faster then I could tell a really bad pun.

So last week blog was very well received with some comments that asked me to pay more attention at specific parts of the BDSM culture. I have already planned to do that next week. But this week I wanted to finish the second part of the common questions about BDSM.

This week has another 9 questions (I thought there were ten, but apparently I totally forget to count when it gets past midnight). And interestingly enough the seemed to rather flow into one another as you will see. Perhaps the last question is a little bit out of sorts but with the time looming onwards (I am really not used to staying up past twelve o’clock these days); to move things around will probably mean that I have to rewrite a large part of my blog. So you have to live with this

In the mean time my answers to nine more common questions about BDSM!
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I wish I could say I have better news but the late hour of the day combined with still not being used to my new schedule, especially what writing concerns means I have not yet gotten around to doing the march questions. It will happen, probably by march 2016 if my current writing endeavours are something to go by.

As the more observant reader may have reasoned, I am currently struggling with writing a lot more then last year. I have touched upon this on my blog, it’s by far neither a common occurrence for me to talk about this either.

All I am saying about this, is that my reluctance in writing is on par with my Mistress being absent in SL. It is not something I have touched upon earlier (yay, recurring team established in my blog). But unlike last year this seems to be harder as the time period where I have no contact at all, seems to have grown larger then ever before. And, in all fairness, I do not think I am taking it all that well.

I know there are people who think I should be calling it quits already. The truth of the matter is simply that I have always maintained that due to the length of our relationships I should give an equal length of time before making any decisions. And with that in mind, I have long decided that I would give her a year. After nearly 6 years being hers, the larger portion of my Second Life and all that she has done for me, both in Second Life and Real Life, I think I at least owe her that much.

But I will apart from this not dwell on this and try to get at least some writing in. And to start this off, I had promised to travel down the road to start writing more about BDSM again. This is a promise I am going to try and keep.

So while tonight I am not going to delve into anything deep, I am going to give it a start with ten ‘starter’ questions. I found this on several blogs on tumblr and is aptly called “Ten common questions about BDSM”. A refresher course if you will, or for those new, an introduction.

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Easter Blog!!

Yes, it is Easter again and despite my promise that I should answer some of my march Question and Answers this week around I totally had forgotten that I would go and visit family. Well, not forgotten that I was going to visit family but I forgot that I would have had taken my log files from Second Life and emails with me so that I could have exacted them while I sat here relaxing.

So, another failed attempt, I do apologise for that. I am pretty much not sure what to write about so I am going to do something what I am want to do in situations like this and that is just write free-style and talk about the things that occupy my mind at the current moment.

Hopefully next week I will get around to writing more about the March Questions that I have received and the answers that I have come up with. I also have a plan for writing something from my point of view about the right and duties of dominants. This is essentially a follow up to the “submissive rights” blog post I did a while back.

I have been asked to at least write a follow up called the consequences of certain behaviour in a submissive, especially the consequences of using your rights all too often. While I think it was meant too highlight what would happen if submissives use their rights as a shield to just throw it around (and yes, it does happen). Still it bears some thinking about.

If something is an inalienable right, one should have the right to use it whenever and where ever it is applicable. However there may be some consequences for it. Those consequences I want to address. However as much as everything else, I am thinking about the format in which I want to write that.
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